


I can't fall asleep without you

by xweapon



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: I use way too much dialogue sue me, M/M, POV Third Person Omniscient, Panty Kink, Sex, Slow Build, very brief descriptions of gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-13 21:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3396980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xweapon/pseuds/xweapon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spider-man got injured in a dark alley. That's how it all starts: He does not get a knight in shinning armor for his rescue, he gets a Deadpool.<br/>Slowly he realizes how he misjudged Wade and accidentally he befriends him. One day he finds out he might have a thing for Wade and panics, the mercenary obviously assumes his freak out is because he's allergic to juice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>Separate and skippable chapters for sex & gore with warnings beforehand.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Deadpool cave

**Author's Note:**

> This fic starts off funny, then gets a bit dramatic and finally it goes straight into cornyland.  
> I thought of this title because I noticed I have an issue, I always make my characters fall asleep when together. What does this mean? I don't know. Help me.
> 
> Also, this fic is already written and finished: I only have to post it. So do not fear, this won't be incomplete unless a car runs over me and I don't get enough time to crawl to my computer while bleeding, this is highly improbable for I always have my computer no further than 10 feet away. Also, it has like 24000 words so get ready for a long term commitment to this shit.  
> And English isn't my first language. And this has not been beta read by anybody but myself at 4 am. And really I'm just excusing myself just in case you find some mistake.
> 
> It includes rescuing, panty kink, like... two fights against villains, avengers, aunt may, yadda yadda.  
> I will submit short chapters often. Like _at least_ once a week.  
>  It would mean the world to me if you commented and shared your thoughts after I post a chapter, seriously, if not I'll get angry and next thing you know I update a chapter that only says 'they fucked and then they died. end.' , I am openly threatening you all with a crappy ending.
> 
> Anyways, hope you like this.

Peter Parker was panicking. His hands and back were sweaty and he was going to die in some dark street alleyway girlfriendless at his midtwenties ; dying on a dark alleyway was too cliché and it got him so fucking mad, he had cut out all his ties but with his aunt May just to protect everybody and now they would probably find his body in a week or maybe by then it would have already been eaten by rats because this neighborhood was so horrible it was plausible for it to have Japanese mutant rats and actually it would be really nice if he could meet the teenage mutant turtles.

He had overheard the police talking about some thugs in the area and made the stupid decision of investigating. Turns out they weren't average thugs, they had superpowers and he should have expected it because lately everybody seemed to have accidents that involved radioactive shit, coincidentally all of them decided to move to New York and the place was now a freak circus.  
He was attacked and he wasn't expecting it, he was looking for guns and knives, not superpowers. He was pretty sure two of his ribs were injured and he really hoped they hadn't broken but it hurt like hell and he could see white spots everywhere, he intended to get up but fell back down with a whimper, resting his back on the dirty brick wall. 

[P - Peter ; W - Wade]

P - "I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm so stupid and I'm so hungry and I haven't had sex in months, this is terrible timing for death."

W - "I can help with the sex thing."

Peter groaned. The last thing he needed right now was Deadpool and his fucking unstoppable talking. 

P - "Noooo. Get awaaay, I underestimated the situation, THIS is a terrible timing for death, two seconds ago was better. Why ? Why Deadpool of all people?"

W - "Rude. Who are you talking to, by the way? are you one of those crazy bastards that talk to voices in their head? because let me tell you my mama doesn't let me hang out with those people."

Parker was about to comment on the mental stability of the other when an arm embraced his shoulders and back, attempting to help.

P - "No. Nonononono. Stop, stop please." - He cried out in a rush. It hurt like a bitch, it would be much better if he didn't move. Ever. He could live in this alleyway, it couldn't be that bad, not as bad as moving his body right now at least. 

Deadpool backed away and stared at him, thinking. Then proceeded to place the other hand by his ass, lifting him bridal style with such gentleness Peter was stunned. He couldn't manage to complain about the hand on his butt nor the uncomfortable position he was in, but when the hand started groping he definitely made sure to throw a web at Deadpool's mask. 

W - "Sorry, it was sort of right there, could not help it."

They started moving, thankfully the place was desolated so nobody saw them because they looked ridiculous.  
Peter had no idea where they were heading, but for once he did not question the other: he most definitely would not give Deadpool his home address. 

W - "You look lighter than you are."

P - "Shut up. I haven't felt like cooking lately and I'm living on take out."

W - "Taco Bell?"

P - "Pizza hut."

W - "I feel disgusted, I could drop you right now. Hold it! there are discounts if you order at the pizza hut store dressed as a superhero. Do you...?"

P - "..."

W - "You actually go to pizza hut dressed as spider-man."

P - "You don't?"

Deadpool laughed, it was a raspy laugh and Peter groaned at the sudden movement, his ribs complaining.

W - "Sorry about that. You know I'm not a superhero, I get no discounts. I still wear my costume to the store, it's comfortable."

P - "Well, you did just rescue an injured man."

W - "... When?"

P - "Me. I'm talking about me, idiot."

W - "I did rescue you."

A grin extended from underneath the Deadpool mask.

W - "You are my princess."

P - "I hate you."

W - "You say that but deep down you are in love with me." - Deadpool proceeded to tap his ass, you know... for emphasis only.

P - "No, I really hate you. You give me second hand embarrassment."

He noticed how Deadpool slowed down when getting close to an apartment not too far from the horrible neighborhood they were in. It was an old and cracking building, it looked sad and empty and if you made a comparison between the place and the tower of Pisa (the tower of pizza according to the Deadpool voices) the second option looked more stable.

W - "Hold on tight, princess."

He did not understand why he was asked to do that, but as soon as Deadpool obtained a harpoon out of nowhere and shoot it next to a window he made sure to obey. Of fucking course Deadpool broke into his own apartment.

P - "Get a key!"

W - "I have one. I just... keep forgetting it."

Spider-man managed to open the window and crawl inside, followed by the merc. The place was a terrible mess, there was food older than Wolverine in here, but it was disturbingly... comfortable. It was warm inside and it had lots of couches and pillows lying around, it felt like a huge pillow fort.

W - "This is the Deadpool-cave. I know, it's awesome. You can come visit me but knock on the window first because I might be naked."

As the man babbled, he helped Peter up, placing an arm around him. He continued to talk as he laid him on the couch and went away to get a first aid kit.

W - "I can wear the matching nurse dress if you want, you can borrow it, I bet it'd look good on you Spidey."

Parker did not speak, only making soft noises when his sides hurt. He was amazed by Deadpool's capability at multitasking and the tenderness he was behaving with. Some ice was placed by his ribs as he wasn't paying attention.

P - "Fuck! Cold, it's so cold."

W - "Ice, ice, baby."

A blanket was thrown around him and he even had his feet tucked inside it. It felt nice and it made him feel so confused because this was Deadpool he was talking about.

P - "Why are you doing this? what do you want?"

The man seemed to shut up for a while and his expression was that of a confused person, Peter could tell even with the mask in between them. Then he connected the dots and understood what he was talking about.

W - "I like you. I- em... I mean, you pay attention to me, so I am returning the favor by attending you."

Spider-man and Deadpool had worked together in very few missions, it mostly involved Fury making them team up against other mercenaries, such as Hit-monkey. It was surprising how well they fit during work but the man was most of the time away from New York and that probably explained the lack of furniture in the place.

P - "Thank you." - He smiled.

W - "Are we... going to kiss?"

Peter pressed a palm against his face and groaned, this guy's mind was so weird.

P - "No, Deadpool, we are not going to kiss."

The man next to him pouted through the mask, got up and walked away, Peter closed his eyes for a while.

W - "Wade."

P - "What?"

W - "You should call me Wade, not Deadpool. I only use Deadpool during business hours."

By the time he opened his eyes Wade was sitting on the floor next to him and dipping nachos on some hot sauce while turning on the TV. Before he noticed the steady sound of the television and Wade's chattering lulled him to sleep.


	2. Overhearing your call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank you all so much for your comments! I thought my threat would be ignored but I got more comments than ever, particularly considering it was such a tiny insignificant chapter; I'm so insecure about the things I write you guys have helped me so much.  
> I've smiled to the praises and taken the critiques into consideration, which hopefully shows... *nervous sweating*
> 
> Anyway, here's another chapter :)

Peter woke up and attempted to stretch, only the space he had was too small and his body was trapped. He finally remembered what had happened the day before and cleared his eyes, thank fuck his ribs did not hurt anymore because Deadpool sprawled all over him would not have helped. His mask was lifted up enough to breathe easily, making his lips and a part of his nose visible. Peter was... unprepared.  
He knew a bit about Deadpool, he had been told the man had scars and even seen them, but never this close. His face was scarred, the skin so twisted in some parts that the rest of the tissue around those areas could only stretch and become so thin the blood and muscle underneath was almost visible, it looked as if it was constantly in movement, alive, or dying and coming back to life every second.   
Peter was used to helping May at the hospital, he was not a stranger to wounds and he was not disgusted by them. Wade, though, he did not disgust him but... it looked so painful and draining that it helped Parker understand better the man's madness, his unexplainable happiness at the least festive moments; of course he would not mind if the situation looked bad for another hero, he had the worst luck and still managed to make a joke and choke while laughing at his own bantering. Wade should think that everyone else that complains is just a hypocrite.

He pulled his arm from underneath Wade's chest carefully and moved his hand closer to the scars, his shaky fingers hovering so close to the skin he could feel the warm puffs of air when the other breathed out. Finally, he steadied his hand and pressed it softly over the man's jaw line, following the scars as if he was reading braille.  
He never noticed how the body on top of him tensed, how the breaths became further apart and almost silent. Then a hand gripped his, hard.

W - "What are you doing?" - The voice showed too much alertness for a man that had been sleeping seconds ago.

P - "I... I was... You were." –He stuttered.

Wade was silent. That sentence alone should be terrifying.

P - "Ugh. At least scold me. Nono, you know what? you grope my ass everytime and I have earnt the right of touching your face, in fact, I can touch you anywhere I want, I am spider-man, I have the right to touch everyone. Wait, I should probably paraphrase that."

He was babbling, he knew that, it was what he did when he got nervous.  
The worst part wasn't the speech, though, it was that he, in fact, started rubbing his hands all over the other man, to... you know, to get his message across. First his back, then his arms. Peter even squeezed the biceps, impressed by the firmness of the muscle.  
When he realized the awkward position he had placed himself into he concentrated on not lifting up his gaze. Staring at Deadpool's arm so much he would probably grow a hole on it, ah, it was a beautiful limb. Very nice, Peter. 

Then Wade laughed. It was a loud chuckle and it made Peter blush all over, thank fuck he had his mask on.

W - "He's a funny one."

Parker cursed and pushed the taller man away from him, testing his body to see if it was fully healed. Deadpool immediately pulled his mask down.

P - "You got a phone?"

Wade nodded and handed him a cellphone, it had stickers pasted all over it even though it was disposable and new.

He dialed aunt May's phone, already repeating to himself he should delete the number afterwards. He DID NOT want Wade calling aunt May. 

[P - Peter ; W - Wilson; M - May]

P - "Hello?"

M - "PETER!" - She shouted desperately, her voice going high pitched. 

Peter hurried to cover the phone, hoping Wade had not been paying attention. He heard some whistling coming from far away in the kitchen so he relaxed.

P - "Listen, I'm ok. I... ah... fell asleep at a friend's house... sort of. I forgot to give you a call last night, sorry."

M - "Peter Benjamin Parker, you never do this to me again.” – She sighed and pushed herself to relaxation. – “You've been doing these things for years and it is making me grow older faster. You are a good kid, and I know it, but your actions aren't making you any greater of nephew."

P - "Sorryyyy! I just, you know, forgot my cellphone and well... could not call you because I... I have to go, love you!." 

Wade came from the kitchen holding two slices of pizza. Giving one to Peter, he sat down by the couch. It was pizza hut, so Wade DID buy there sometimes.

W - "Girlfriend? Mother? Nosy neighbor?" 

P - "... Aunt." – He admitted in a quiet voice, not sure if telling Wade any information would be something to regret.

Wade shrugged and munched his pizza.

W - "Sho... uhm... Phetwer." - He said in between bites.

P - "Excuse me?" - He panicked, had he heard his name?

W - "I said, is she pretty?"

Peter sighed - "I don't know, she's my aunt, ew?"

W - "I'm kidding."

P - "..."

W - "I actually said Peter."

Peter let out a big cry, it sounded like a whale with macroglossia (which is a thing you shouldn't search pictures of).

W - "Peter Benjamin Parker." - Wade imitated a mad aunt May while saying it; as if proud to have learnt his full name. Some people didn't even know he was called Benjamin and he had known these people for years.

P - "Please don't say anything?" - He pouted for mercy but the mask did not allow his magic puppy eyes to work.

W - "Nh, okay!"

P - "You... will ?"

W - "No."

P - "You will not keep it secret?"

W - "No, Yes."

P - "I am so confused right now." - Peter sat next to Wade on the couch, gripping his head.

W - "No, I won't tell. Yes, I will keep it secret." - Wade continued to eat the pizza.

Peter lifted his mask up to his nose and ate his slice in silence, thinking about how much he trusted Deadpool and how he couldn't do anything about it if he didn't.

W - "I am Wade Winston Wilson. It would have been funny if your name had been something like Peter Picasso Parker. You'd be 3P and I'd be 3W."

Peter snickered - "Picasso? is that the most average name you could come up with that starts with ‘P’ ?"

W - "Well, you know, one time I stole one of his paintings."

P - "Really?" – He asked uninterested as he munched at the pizza, trying not to get tomato sauce and cheese all over his suit.

Wade began explaining his story, then when he finished that one he started another one, and another, and maybe he didn't even manage to finish one because he went so off track he started talking about something else. Peter listened, nodding and laughing, even adding some comments; he was surprised to find he didn’t dislike the stories and they actually got his attention.   
By the time he noticed it was late and he had to go back to his apartment, he did not want to make aunt May worry anymore and giving her a call from home would probably make her feel better.

P - "Again, thank you for helping me, Wade."

Wade nodded frantically and waved as Spider-man webbed his way out and away.

W - "You can come visit again, princess!"

P - "I really hate him." - He said to himself, certain Wade wouldn’t be able to hear him from so far but not minding if he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May might seem like a drama queen on this one chapter but I swear she's nothing but nice and understanding from my point of view. It'll show later on :U


	3. Staying over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry that it took me a while to update this, I had the chapter ready but I wasn't getting much love at home because of reasons so it was postponed a bit. Taking that into consideration, I want to thank everybody for their nice comments, all the love I did not get from family today I got it from you and maybe you feel like it's little but it does cheer me up a lot. I appreciate that.  
> Leaving all that drama aside, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter enough to ignore any goofy mistake I might've made <3

He had forgotten to delete the phone number when he used Wade's phone.  
HE HAD FORGOTTEN TO DELETE THE PHONE NUMBER WHEN HE USED WADE'S PHONE.

The man kept calling, mostly when Peter was away at his own apartment, and would talk to aunt May for hours. He did not find out until about the sixth time around, when May finally remembered to tell him; they were doing laundry together. 

[P - Peter ; M - May]

M - "This gentleman, he keeps calling and trying to talk to you but you're always away. I felt pity for the poor child and asked him how his day was doing, he is most definitely an interesting person!" – She said, oblivious to the fact the poor child was a mercenary that usually carried at least three pointy objects on his body.

Peter's eyes almost popped out of his skull, he stopped handing May clothes to hang and stared with his mouth wide open.

P - "Is this guy... by any chance... called Wade?"

M - "So that's how he's called! Each time I asked him he said a different one, the most ridiculous names, too… in Spanish."

P - "May, listen." - He sighed. - "You should not talk to him, ok?"

His aunt turned around on the spot to look at him, crossing her arms.

M - "Are you saying this friend of yours is dangerous? Where did you meet him, Peter?"- Her frown showed her disapproval. Whether her discontent was because she felt Peter was being mean towards Wade or because she was worried his nephew was hanging out with the wrong people was unclear.

P - "No, no. Don't give me that look, he's dangerous but he is not from a gang or anything, Wade is... is... destructive? I don't know. He is the sort of person you leave locked in an empty room and when you come back he's sitting on a chair surrounded by wild animals, broken furniture and Mexican food leftovers."

Aunt May giggled.

P - "No, don't laugh. Ugh. I am being serious." - He pouted.

M - "Peter, you are like that too, you know? You have an idea and then it goes out of hand, I am scared of walking into your room without knocking. But you are a good kid, you just need... supervising."

Parker was scared; his aunt had just found a way to describe both Wade and himself. And she was right.

P - "What do you even talk about?"

Right on cue, the phone rang. May picked up and pointed at Peter and then at the phone. It was Wade. He got closer so as to be able to listen to the conversation.

[P - Peter ; W - Wilson; M - May]

W - "Helloooo? Is this Peter Benjamin?"

Peter groaned, walking in circles around May as she talked.

M - "No, it's May."

W - "Maaaay! How are you doing you mysterious sexy-voiced old lady?"

P - "Oh my god! I have heard enough!" - He took the phone. - "Why are you talking to my aunt more than I do daily? Why are you even calling?!"

W - "Petey! I was just about to ask your aunt if you were allowed to come and play at my house."

P - "She says no."

W - "No way! You didn't even ask! She would say yes, she thinks I'm good influence."

P - "Then I say no."

W - "Peteeeeeeeey!"

The whine was so loud he had to pull the phone away from his ear, May next to him smiled. This was a nightmare. He had never in his life imagined Wade and his aunt could have compatible personalities but of course they would, May was too nice and Wade sought attention like a hound dog.

P - "Fine, Fine! By your house you mean that place where you took me last time?" – He gave up, sensing Deadpool would insist until getting what he wanted.

W - "The Deadpool-cave." - He said in a ridiculous hoarse voice, imitating Batman. Peter didn’t get the joke; he didn’t know who Batman was.

P - "Ok, I will go there now, this should excuse me from helping with the laundry." 

W - "Bring the old lady with you, I like her."

Peter rested his forehead against the wall, closing his eyes in agony. May simply laughed next to him.

M - "You go sweetheart, tell Mr. Wade there that somebody has to stay and clean here but the invitation is appreciated."

W - "I HEARD YOU LADY MAY! AFTER YOU'RE FINISHED YOU ARE WELCOMED TO HELP CLEANING HERE." - He screamed loud enough for the woman to hear him even if she wasn't the one who had the phone. Peter, though, who WAS the one who had the phone, would need to have his auditory nerve reconstructed. 

\---

Peter arrived at Wade's apartment, he was dressed in his Spider-man suit and had climbed up through the side of the building, knocking on the window as Wade had suggested before: he was let inside. Deadpool was wearing a pink apron, a pair of boxers underneath the apron and his suit underneath the boxers underneath the apron. The boxers had a hot dog pattern on them. Tacky as always. 

[P - Peter ; W - Wilson]

W - "I was cooking something for lunch. Do you like Macaroni au fromage?"

P - "Wade, I still realize that is Mac & Cheese, the word Macaroni is enough of a hint."

W - "Peter Party Pooper Parker."

Peter walked towards the kitchen, it was pretty spotless compared to the rest of the place, save for the progress on the Mac & Cheese - "I thought it was Peter Picasso Parker?"

Deadpool giggled, which was pretty cute for a ridiculously muscular guy… in a pink apron.

W - "You haven't eaten, right? These should be done by now and I always miscalculate the proportions, I should be able to feed 6 Deadpools, 9 Spider-men and a quarter of a Hulk with what I made."

P - "No, I haven't eaten and I do like ‘Macaroni au fromage’ ” – He made air quotes, then stood still thinking for a moment. – “Does a quarter of a Hulk equal a Bruce Banner?"

Wade started laying the table, Peter helped setting the dishes he was handed - "No way!! a quarter of a Hulk is like eight Bruce Banners."

P - "So... a Hulk equals 32 Bruce Banners?" – He mimicked counting with his fingers.

Wade shrugged - "I just said I'm bad with proportions, math is definitely not my forte."

Both men sat at the table, it was pretty tiny for a kitchen table so it was evident Wade did not tend to have any guests over; in fact everything in the apartment was prepared for one person only, maybe a couple if they didn't mind sitting on each other and sleeping in a Tetris arrangement. 

W - "I will tell you that in fact when I need to make something explode I add much more dynamite than the recommended amount. No time for calculations." – He confessed as if adding more dynamite than necessary was the criminal act instead of exploding something.

Peter pulled up his mask up to his nose and nipped at the macaroni expecting it to taste as if Deadpool had made it, which would mean ... bad, you know. But it was in fact delicious. - "Is there such a thing as a recommended amount of dynamite? Shouldn’t the recommended amount of dynamite be no dynamite?"

W - "Ah, indeed, a great question. Immanuel Kant, the Greek anthropologist born in the 60s wondered the same, he wrote a book about it. It's name was something about an albino sperm whale called Move my Dick."

Peter nearly spitted all the food while laughing - "Moby Dick? Seriously you couldn't have gotten all that information more messed up."

W - "Is that a challenge? Besides, it was a sperm whale; of course it’d make sense with that name that it was called Dick."

P – “That’s actually a thing you got right, the whale WAS called Dick.”

The other man was thoughtful for a moment – “You think the whale was actually a Richard and they called it Dick?”

Peter had no idea what to reply to that.

By the time they had eaten and cleaned up Peter was ready for a nap, his energy tending to drop while food was being processed. 

P - "Man, those Mac & Cheese were perfect. I should get you some sort of congratulations card for them."

Wade jumped on his tip toes, happy for the praise. - "Thank you! No leftovers too, I underestimated you because of your size." - He dropped the apron somewhere in the kitchen counter.

P - "What do you mean because of my size? You mean to tell me I'm tiny?"

W - "Ha! That’s what he said!"

P - "Isn't it ‘she’? That's what 'she' said?"

W - "Sure, I mean, if she's a girl with a penis."

Peter pressed a hand against his face, this guy had no limits. The starship enterprise could search for his morality in the limitless void with no success.

W - "Hey! It can happen! It’s totally fine by me too. Girls with penises are hot."

P - "Wade, shut up. Hey, I should go, I'm feeling pretty sleepy now."

W - "Nonono." - Deadpool strode towards Peter and after randomly walking around him in a circle a few times he pushed the smaller man towards the couch, making him sit on it. - "You aren't going to eat with me just to leave, you can't leave after this, we have to cuddle, otherwise it is rude."

Peter went back to pressing the palm of his hand against his forehead; he might as well glue it there. - "I'm pretty sure that's after sex, Wade, not food."

W - "Food and sex are equally important." - He then whined. - "Come on Petey, you just arrived, nap here and when you wake up we can play some videogames."

Peter hummed; he was actually having a good time. Also, last time Wade's chatter proved to be more effective than a lullaby. 

P - "Fine." - He laid down on the couch where he had slept a few days ago. - "Just wake me up if it's getting too late. And don't grope my ass while I'm sleeping!"

Indeed, not long after he was dead asleep on the couch, Wade giggling at the occasional soft snores while he watched a telenovela.


	4. The Doombot attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a chapter with some action featuring the incredible Doombot army and a few Avengers.
> 
> ♡ As always, thank you all so much for your support! ≧(´▽｀)≦

When he woke up he felt the familiar press of a body against him. 

P - "MMMhhhhhh..." - Peter complained.

This was the second time and now he could officially say Deadpool would continue to fall asleep over him in the couch to create a sleepy sandwich if the situation repeated itself again. His mask was yet once more pushed up and he had pasted a sticky note on his forehead that read "U can't touch this." and even though Peter's fingers twitched he respected Wade's request and kept his hands to himself. So he couldn't touch but he could look.

Parker must have spent a full half an hour staring at Wade's skin, he had no longer the right to call the other man a creep; he could not help it, though. The spots on the skin moved around slowly, it reminded him of a lava lamp, the uneven bumps on the skin were mostly subtle today, probably cheering at the amount of air they were getting after being so long behind a mask... if bumps could cheer, you know. Wade's face looked soft, the only prominent keen surfaces being his jaw line and cheekbones, it probably had to do with the fact Wade mustn't need to shave because of his lack of hair, maybe if not for his illness he would look attractive; it's not as if Peter would ever be able to find out, there were probably no pictures in this place and he would never ask Wade how did he look like before his accident.

Peter really needed to take his own mask off, it was still lifted up to his nose just like Wade's, he hadn't pushed it down since they had eaten. In fact, the back of his legs were already complaining about the amount of folded fabric that was pushed against them, he needed to take off his whole suit. It was then that he realized how it would look like if somebody walked in on them: two men in tight suits pressed against each other on the couch. He blushed, it sounded bad and he would bet it looked worse.  
Maybe next time he should visit without his suit, only the mask.

He noticed how the empty eyes on Wade's mask stared at him, like... really stared, they were directly positioned in front of his own face and...

P - "... Wade?"

W - "Yes?"

Peter wanted to dig a hole and bury himself in it. Wade was staring at him as he stared back? How long had they been staring at each other like idiots?

Peter pushed Wade, making him fall off the couch - "Since how long have you been awake?!"

Wade lifted his index finger, still lying down with his face against the floor - "I don't really sleep much."

P - "You were awake the whole time?! You laid on me while I was asleep and staid in that position while being awake until I woke up?!"

W - "Well, if you say it like that it sounds a little weird." - He got up and dusted his suit with his hands. - "But at least I wasn't staring at you, that last half an hour was intense, I could feel your eyes getting me all nakey."

Peter sat on the couch, hiding his blushed face with his hands, his embarrassment was probably visible because his mask was up and his neck was pink by now. - "I was staring because I couldn't move! I thought you were asleep and if I moved you would wake up!"

W - "You do know there are many other directions you could stare at, right? I would not recommend the ceiling, though. It has a suspicious stain on it."

P - "Ew."

Wade moved his hands hurriedly in denial - "Nono, it's the humidity, I swear. It's very cute you didn't want to wake me up, though."

Both fell silent for a while, Wade's voice had been unwavering and serious during that last statement, not in his average joking demeanor, which made it feel pretty much like a confession.  
Now both of their necks were looking quite pink. 

W - "Ah! Yes! We were supposed to play videogames! I have my own videogame, did you know that?"

P - "How is that even possible?" 

Wade sat next to him on the couch, handing him a controller - "Convenient explosions."

Peter laughed - "You do realize you still have a sticky note pasted on your forehead, don't you?"

\---

It was during an Avenger's mission that everyone found out that the mercenary Deadpool was a friend of Spider-man.  
Dr.Doom had sent an army of robots downtown to check whether the last update that had been done to them proved to be efficient and the team decided to split into two. Spider-man, The Falcon and Iron man had to shoo the civilians away and take anybody who needed help out of the danger zone; Captain America, Hulk, Wolverine, Black Widow & Hawkeye were dealing with the Doombots.  
Peter was carrying a little kid when his spider sense started tingling like crazy, he hurried to web the child and drop him as safely as possible and away from danger but before he was able to turn around a blast hit him, sending him flying to crash against a wall.  
"All hail Dr.Doom!" was chanted near him, many other robots appearing out of nowhere on the spot.

[P - Peter; S - Steve; T - Tony; N - Natasha]

P - "Guys! I found the place where these things are popping out from!" - He shouted through the intercom as he hid inside an evacuated building.

S - "We can't reach the place right now, send the coordinates to Iron Man."

T - "My right arm and right leg repulsors are dead, so if you see something spinning around in the air don't shoot. It'll take a while to get there, keep them busy!"

As if keeping a whole army of Doombots away by himself was a task any man could handle. Well... maybe Hulk could... but nobody would really call the Hulk any man.

A blast crashed the window next to Peter as he crawled away and run upstairs - "There are too many!"

S - "I'll see if I can send someone, hang on!" 

P - "I need to get better friends, you guys are never available." 

The robots were getting inside the building so Peter started webbing shut each door he walked by but getting out through a window or the rooftop would be a certain pain in the ass since the building was surrounded.  
Doom must have built a Doombot factory in Latveria because the numbers were ridiculous.

The blasts were getting closer and with nowhere else to go after reaching a dead end Spider-man clung to the ceiling.

P - "Hello?!!" – He asked for a response desperately.

T - "The left arm repulsor is down, Steve!"

S - "I'm trying! It’s too far without a vehicle!" - He shouted between labored breaths, he had been running.

Peter looked around and heard the noises, they were getting closer. He had no chance against so many alone, he would die.

P - "... Get Deadpool." - He whispered.

S, T - "What?" - They probably heard that right but couldn't understand the reasoning behind it.

P - "I said get Deadpool! He's in the phone book, get the digital one on screen or ask an agent, call him, now!"

T - "Why? What? I'm confused."

A robot kicked the door from the room he was in.

P - "Get him!"

N - "I called him."

It was incredible how the only one that seemed to notice how desperate he sounded was Natasha, nobody realized in which situation he was in but the assassin, who helped fist and asked later.  
He was about to be attacked by a Doombot when the window crashed and a bullet pierced into the walking machine.

[ P - Peter; W - Wilson ] 

W - "Yooo!" - He waved from the rooftop on the nearest building.

Peter fell from the ceiling, barely putting his hands first for the fall; his shoulder complained. He didn't get enough time to get up as the army of Doombots started appearing on the door.

W - "Don't you guys never knock?"

He heard Wade getting the ammo ready so Spider-man pressed his body closer to the floor. One by one the bots started falling dead... or broken.

S - "Peter? What is going on? I'm here but I can't get in, they're attacking me and there are too many!"

P - "See?! I told you!" - Peter screamed, trying to be heard over the gunshots - "I'm fine."

W - "Spidey!" - He stopped firing.

P - "What?"

W - "Get on this rooftop now, I'll shoot if they point at you."

Peter climbed out of the window and threw a web at the other building, swinging towards it. Wade grabbed his hand and pushed him up in a hurry, a blast destroying the spot where he had been seconds ago.  
The two men fell on the rooftop floor breathless, still clinging to each other as more blasts were heard, though far enough to be safe. After getting up Wade gripped his hand tighter and then let go, placing his hands on Spider-man's shoulders.

W - "Are you ok?" - It sounded distressed and too silent compared to the events that had just taken place.

P - " Yes! Yes. How did you get here so fast?"

W - "Teleportation belt." - He pointed more at his dick than his belt, moving his hips in a little dance.

Peter chuckled and then sighed, letting himself fall down to rest his head against the small wall that protected them. Wade was no longer pushing on his shoulders but they still felt heavy, the hit he had received finally catching up with him now that he lay still.

P - "Thank you so much."

W - "Sure. I mean, next time you pay for our dinner and it's settled."

N - "I really don't want to interrupt right now but... first of all, you left the intercom on, then, Iron man has managed to finally reach the coordinates, he shut the portal off. No more bots."

T - "What does he exactly mean by 'next time you pay for our dinner', mh?" – He asked teasingly, his lifted brow almost audible in his choice of words.

Peter groaned, turning the intercom off and closing his eyes. He felt a soft sound as Wade sat next to him, he was humming a song happily but when Spider-man leant towards him and rested his head on Deadpool's shoulder the other man stopped making any noise. 

W - "What are you doing?"

P - "Shut up, you slept on me twice already. Let me use you as a pillow for a second, my shoulder hurts." - He buried his head further on the man’s shoulder, his hair brushing against Wade's suit in such a way it tickled his neck even through the fabric.

He did not fall asleep this time, listening calmly how the chaos was brought to a halt and sirens got closer. Deadpool had a faint smell of gunpowder and sweat mixed with something spicy and his heart was beating so loud and fast Peter could feel it where his cheek connected to the man's shoulder. They must have stayed like that for a long time because when they headed to the streets the Avengers were no longer there and a group of people were taking care of the mess that was left behind.


	5. Juice allergy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is a chapter I personally really like so I hope you guys enjoy it too.   
> This is finals week for me so I'm chewing my arm off here, light some candles, do the study dance, break my leg, I'll accept anything that might mean good luck.
> 
> Thank you all for the kudos and lovely comments, I'm getting so much for so little (❁´◡`❁)*✲ﾟ*

The next time Deadpool called May and Peter happened to be with her they decided to meet at Wade's as if they had been friends for years.  
Peter grabbed his mask but kept the suit inside his closet, when he got closer to Wade's apartment he checked there was nobody around and pulled his mask on, climbing through the window. The mercenary was moving some furniture he had apparently just brought in, since Peter had never seen anything other than a couch, loads of cushions, a TV, a small table and the basic kitchen that comes with a flat.

When Wade turned around to say hi he covered his eyes with both his hands, panicking.

W - "Petey, you forgot the suit!"

P - "It's ok Wade, it was too uncomfortable. I have the mask on though."

Wade peeked through his fingers - "Are you sure?"

P - "Yep."

When he lowered his hands Deadpool was not subtle at all with the way he looked at him, Peter was being examined carefully and for some reason it got him nervous. He was wearing some old converse shoes, a shirt that said 'life is like a donut' with a drawing of a donut next to it ... in case somebody didn't know what a donut was, and tight jeans that were feeling like a bad decision now that he was being stared at. Truth is he still dressed the same way he did when he was fifteen even though he was in his mid twenties.

W - "... Spider-man is a hipster." – He smiled smugly, pointing at the hero’s clothes.

Peter groaned.

W - "Why didn't you tell me you were a hipster this is crucial information." - He sounded offended in an over dramatic way, pressing a hand against his own chest.

P - "I'm not a hipster, I'm my own person."

W - "Yes, but that is what a hipster would say. I bet you have a big pair of glasses."

P - "... No." - Fuck, he did.

W - "You do! Incredible. Amazing. Superior... any saga left?"

Peter didn't understand Wade so he just pushed at his shoulder lightly in a friendly manner and walked towards the furniture the man had been moving around.

P - "What's with the new stuff?" – He said as he pressed the tip of one of his fingers against a piece to check for dust, it was impeccable.

W - "I didn't have many things here and since I'm staying longer I decided to bring some over from other places... places I for sure own. This is my furniture and certainly not stolen furniture from other people I don't know. Like that Black Talon guy. This sure isn't Black Talon's furniture."

P - "You're staying longer? Did you... get a job here?"

Peter didn't like it when the mercenary got jobs in New York so he wasn't sure about asking. Deadpool getting a job meant Deadpool killing, which would mean Spider-man would have to stop him. 

W - "Not really. I'm using the teleportation belt a lot, which reminds me I should get more batteries because one would think that being the twenty-first century I would get a lithium battery system for the belt but I attempted to make it happen once and almost burnt my dick off." – He showed his teeth in displease as he remembered the moment.

Peter chuckled and placed both his hands on the furniture, pushing it towards a corner where he saw Wade was thinking of placing it before being interrupted by his entrance.  
Deadpool soon started getting more chairs, electronics and cupboards out of nowhere and Peter pushed them easily where he thought looked better as if they weighed nothing. It felt like he was helping Wade move in and it made no sense: this would get Deadpool more jobs in NY, he should be stopping it not encouraging it... on the other hand Wade had said he did not get any job here so why was he moving in anyway?

By the time they were done they were both sweaty and tired. Peter threw himself on the couch and Wade went to the kitchen to get something to drink, he leant down and the suit stuck to him like a second skin. Parker didn't know for sure whether Wade couldn't find something he was looking for in between the only five items that were inside the fridge or if it was one of his little seductive jokes but if it was... for the first time it had gotten his attention.  
Peter's head peeked from the couch and his big spider-man eyes weren't useful if he was trying not to be obvious. "It does look like he's just naked with body paint in that suit... do I look like that too?" - He thought, turning for a moment to stare at his own butt that was under tight jeans. - "Do the scars go... all the way?" and then he zoned out. 

W - "Finally! I knew I had something other than beer." – Oblivious, he stood up and away from the fridge after retrieving two bottles and closed the door with his foot.

Wade walked towards the couch holding a bottle of juice and sat next to Peter, he was lifting his mask up a bit in order to drink when he noticed the other man was lost in space. He brought a hand up and started moving it in front of his friend, who suddenly jumped up and away from the couch, as if frightened by the sudden movement.

W - "Yo, Petey, you're scaring me, are you allergic to juice?"

P - "Fuuuuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck." - Yes. He had just noticed how his train of thought had pushed him to rainbow land, for thinking of Wade naked and scarred hadn't repulsed him but intrigued him. 

W - "Boy, imma gonna havta ask you to watch your language." - He joked but then got up and walked towards Peter as slowly as one Deadpool could manage, careful not to scare the boy again - "Is it because I lifted my mask? Is it the scars?" 

Peter noticed how panicked Wade sounded and hurried to move his head from side to side, denying what the merc feared. But how is it that you say to a crazy scarred mercenary that you just found out you might have a big gay crush on them? What was Peter thinking anyway? He didn't want to tell Wade about this, he had to... think about it first. Maybe it would go away. Also, what was Wade's sexual orientation? He seemed like the kind of guy you'd walk into flirting with a table.

W - "Then... you really are allergic to juice? Damn... if only the goblin found out about this, can you imagine? All that effort and he could've just killed you by squishing an orange on your face. Not that I'm gonna tell him, your secret is safe with me Petey."

Peter pressed a hand against his face and massaged the bridge of his nose in an attempt to hold on to his patience, if he didn't talk now Wade would soon assume Peter's favorite color and TV show too, besides his allergies.

P - "No, Wade, I am not allergic to juice. I was just... thinking... about... yeah, you know... thinking."

W - "Thinking about thinking?"

Wade stared at him through his mask, babbling something about him apparently not being the only crazypants in the room. But he let it go.  
And they did have a fun evening, they watched Jeopardy together and Peter found out Wade actually knew a scary amount of things, particularly about languages and geography. The man had probably been everywhere.

But after laughing, saying goodbye and reaching his own apartment; just when he closed the door behind himself, then he panicked.

P - "Shit. I'm so stupid. Terrible taste Peter, terrible. I mean, everyone found out about that when you designed the first spider-man suit with the fat spider on the chest but ... Wade Wilson?"

He banged his head against the door softly a few times and then fell to the floor. His apartment was tidy and silent, nice for what a photographer could afford while being part time superhero.  
He closed his eyes and gripped his hair, letting out a manic chuckle.

P - "Maybe it's just the body and not the person... Which would make me a kinky pervert that digs scars. Not sure how that'd make me feel any better."

He played with the mask between his hands, pulling at the fabric and stretching it as he talked with himself out loud, the big and empty eyes of it staring at him.

P - "I would say it's the butt, he does have a nice butt. But then again, Captain America has a nice back and I'd chew soap before tapping it."

He looked at the clock, it was too late to do anything about it. He should go to sleep, maybe it was a thing that happened only once in a year, mark it on the calendar as "Day Wade gets Peter hot. Encounters not advised." Yes, maybe...


	6. No killing policy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh maaan, this one is a long chapter compared to the ones I usually submit.  
> I'm leaving for the weekend so look out for irregularities on the updates, probably on Monday. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this one! kisses to y'all (๑・ω-)～♥”

They didn't meet for a while, Peter heard word the mercenary was taking care of a job somewhere else and his stomach cringed, when he walked into the meeting room inside The Avengers tower some companions where talking about the subject.  
Wolverine was having a beer, Hawkeye was attempting to find a way to lie down on two chairs comfortably and Black Widow was cleaning her combat knives; Peter had at first been intimidated by Natasha's habit of cleaning her knives in every room even if they were shiny and spotless but after getting used to it he noticed she did it out of boredom and not to look menacing.

[ N - Natasha ; C - Clint ; L - Logan ; P - Peter ]

L - "Yeah, I've heard something about him being in Mexico, knowing him he's probably going to stay there to have some food too. Kid's never too busy to eat."

N - "He's lowered his killing count." - She pointed out, looking quite impressed.

L - "I noticed that, he's either planning on a big kill sometime soon or he's not killing anymore for some reason."

C - "And how do you keep count of how many people he kills?"

L, N - "Newspapers."- They deadpanned, as if it were obvious even though the mercenary was rarely mentioned.

C - "That's ridiculous."

L - "Trust me, you know when you're reading about something Deadpool related." 

P - "Um... hi?" - He walked in the room, he had been listening but didn't feel like interrupting.

C - "Talk of the devil, here comes his bff."

N - "It's true, how is it exactly you and Deadpool know each other enough for him to save your ass the other day?" - She pointed at Peter with one of her knives.

P - "Man, I'm not used to this much attention, getting all sweaty." - He said jokingly but everybody in the room knew it was partly true.

C - "Maybe he called him, I mean, what with the guy having his number on the phone book."

P - "He says it's practical." - He shrugged, knowing the answer because he had asked Wade after the Doombot incident.

L - "When you can't die you don't think about why putting your number in the phone book is a bad idea."

Natasha, Clint and Peter turned to stare at him silently with confused expressions.

C - "Your number's on the phone book too? Are you serious?! Hand me the damn thing, I am gonna search myself a few numbers, how do you think Spider-Woman is written on here? Should I search for "Spider" or "Superhero"... either way I feel like it's not much of a filter, I mean, how many Spiders are there in this team?"

L - "My number is not in the phone book."- He gritted his teeth, he was done with Clint.

N - "Hold on, kid. I remember I asked you a question I'd like an answer to."

P - "Are you interrogating me?" - He pressed the palm of his hand to his chest, the eyes of his mask making his surprised expression look ridiculous and exaggerated.

N - "If I were the knife I'm holding would have been stuck in your kneecap a while ago." - She let out a creepy smile, one of those that made every hair on your body stand. You could actually see how she enjoyed herself while being intimidating.

Clint chuckled, probably having been the receiver of that smile so many times he enjoyed when it was occasionally directed to others.

Peter put his hands up in defeat. - "Ok! Ok. He saved my butt."

C - "Yeah, we saw that."

P - "No, I'm not talking about the Doombot attack, he saved my butt before."

L - "Wade is probably having a ball over you of all people owing him twice." – He snorted as he leant back on the chair, lifting his arms up to stretch.

P - "Me of all people?"

L - "He owns a shirt that says 'Spider-man's n°1 fan, step aside, bitch' "

Natasha and Clint looked at each other and snickered at that. Peter just groaned, he knew Wade was passionate about Spider-man to the point of embarrassment.

C - "So, did he ask for something in exchange?" - He wiggled his eyebrows.

Peter ignored what the eyebrow movement might imply. - “He didn't want anything, I mean... I asked and everything. He said he was appreciating the fact I listen to him... or something like that."

L - " So, Wade's been saving little kids and not killing people."

P - "I'm not little. You're little." – He replied without even thinking.

Logan stared at Peter, height jokes would be the end of him.

L - "I'm compact." - He mumbled.

\---

The next time Peter crossed paths with Deadpool was during patrol, it was dark and too freaking cold for spandex so he was wearing a knitted sweater over his suit. He was sitting at the corner of a building rooftop when he realized somebody was close to him because of the sound of laughter.

[ P - Peter; W - Wilson]

W - "Woah, Petey your aunt went nuts while knitting that thing. It's thicker than my..."

P - "Gross." – He hurried to interrupt.

W - "Gun belt. Oh my, what were you thinking I'd say?!" 

P - "Never mind." - He stood up, cleaning the dust off his suit.

W - "Nothing's thicker than my penis."

P - "Oh my god Wade." 

When Peter turned around to look at the man he gasped; Deadpool's suit had a vast hole on the chest area, the visible skin and everything around it was covered with dry blood, there was no deep cut which meant he had waited for the wound to heal before teleporting... Wade waiting for something meant it was a quite impressive injury he'd gotten. 

P - "Oh my god Wade!" - He instinctively reached for Wade's chest, searching for a cut.

Wade didn't mind. - "Oh, it's nothing really."

There were bumps, lot's of scars and crusted patches of skin but nothing abnormal for Wade Wilson. Peter allowed his hand to linger there; surprised the other didn't shy away from the contact as he had done before.

P - "Was it during a job?" – He looked up and searched for Wade’s eyes but the mask was in the way.

W - "It had nothing to do with the job... not with the one I was working on anyway... it was still during a job, which reminds me how yucky it is that I don't get any restitution for work accidents." 

Peter decided to put his hand away, afraid he was being too touchy with Wade even if he didn't seem bothered by it.

P - "It had to do with a job, though, right?"

Wade nodded slowly. - "Yep, one I turned down." 

P - "Was the pay bad?"

W - "Not... really."

Peter squinted his eyes and even though it was not visible through the mask he was sure Wade could feel the stare. He crossed his arms in front of his chest because of the cold as he analyzed the situation, the talk he had overheard at the Avengers tower before giving him enough hints on what was going on.

P - "You declined the job because it would make you kill."

Deadpool visibly smiled behind his mask, stretching the fabric a bit, but he did not reply.

P - "Why are you... not killing?"

Wade shrugged. - "I don't really know. Maybe the good guy rules stuck a little from spending too much time with you... I don't really want Spider-man to be hanging out with a psycho killer." - He sighed, Peter had heard that term before for the merc with a mouth, Wade was borrowing it: somebody else had told him he was that. - "Don't get your hopes up, I've tried this before and it didn't go nicely."

Parker could barely believe what was happening, he hadn't even asked Wade to stop murdering, at least not since they became some sort of friends. It was most likely something they'd avoid talking about. Apparently all it had taken for a famous mercenary to stop killing... was to hang out with something other than killers.

P - "Damn, Wade. That's... that's amazing."

W - "Really? Because I was at least 90 percent sure you were the amazing one here... it is sort of your second name, after 'The' and before 'Spider-man'."

Peter chuckled and then sighed at the sight of dry blood on his friend. - "If you don't take a job... they shoot at you?"

W - "They do if you turn it down midway. It's ok, it won't happen again."

Both of them remained silent for a while, Peter pulling at the sleeves of his sweater while Wade just seemed happy to see the other show worry for him. And then Spider-man sneezed. 

W - "You should leave, I don't think anybody's out with this cold, chances are a mugger would get hypothermia before you get to him."

Peter nodded and turned around, but before leaving he stood there for a while, thinking. He was about to suggest something potentially stupid.

P - "Do you... want to come over?"

Deadpool turned his head to stare, his brow was furrowed and it made the mask wrinkle.

P - "I mean, you always invite me over, seems... fair." - He scratched the back of his head nervously, still unsure of what he was saying.

Still, Wade didn't answer, he looked shocked and maybe bordering panicked.

Peter moved his hand in front of Wade's eyes, you never knew with the costume… maybe he was having a heart attack, tricky. He wasn't though.

W - "Are you sure?"

P - "Wade, you already know my full name, it's not as if you can't find out where I live. You've found targets with less."

W - "Oh my god. OOOOooooooh shit."

Wade sprang up like constricted elastic would when setting it free, he would have probably started trembling like an excited dog any minute but before getting to that Peter signaled him to get closer and then held him by the waist.

W - "The only possible explanation is this being a dream." - Wade gripped back at Peter's waist, clinging to him effectively. 

P - "For me it'd be a nightmare." - He lied.

Not even a second after Peter pointed his web shooters at a building and they vanished from the rooftop they had been standing on.  
Wade seemed to be excited yet terrified, he pressed himself against Peter as if the other would let go, even attempting to entwine their legs together and failing, ending up in a messy joggle of limbs that made the usual smooth pendulum movement of the web feel like a roller coaster.

P - "Wade, I can stick to buildings using one finger, I'm pretty sure I am not going to drop you." – He tried to make the other man relax before he got them both killed.

W - "I know it, but it's my first time, be gentle! Besides..." 

P - "What?"

W - "I think I just swallowed an insect."

P - "You are wearing a mask!" 

It was the longest trip to his apartment ever and yet he couldn't deny how much fun it had been. The feeling of Wade clinging to him for dear life was not so bad either.

Peter had to be extra careful when getting inside his apartment because he was wearing his Spider suit and carrying a Deadpool with him, he shushed his friend and clung to the wall, opening the window and allowing the merc to climb in first.  
The first room Deadpool saw was the bedroom; he seemed way too excited to be visiting, giving quick looks around as if gathering all the information he could. Peter had barely set foot on his room and Wade had already searched through his books.

W - "Hipster AND nerd."

P - "Shut up." - He pushed at the other man's shoulder.

And then Wade turned to look at him in a hurry, gripping his arm strongly.

W - "You have portraits."

P - "Yes, Wade, of course I..." 

Oh. OH. He had portraits, portraits had people and people had faces. Wade had probably gotten a glimpse of Peter on a portrait.

W - "It's ok, I didn't really look. I should leave, I shouldn't have come here in the first place." - He said in a hurry, as he got closer to the window, forgetting the fact he had arrived via Spider-man and couldn't jump out without breaking his legs.

Peter got a grip on Deadpool's suit, pulling at it.

P - "Hold on."

He could say the guy he had seen on a portrait was actually his cousin. He could.

Peter decided to take off his mask.

Wade made an unnatural noise and curled in on himself, closing his eyes under the mask and refusing to open them.

W - "Peter you accidentally pulled off your mask!!"

Peter pressed a hand against his forehead. Incredible. - "Wade, I took it off intentionally, how could I... Is that even possible?"

W - "Maybe you have a tic."

P - "A tic that makes me take off my mask? - He laughed. - "I'd be screwed."

Wade opened an eye, but refused to make eye contact, staring at the floor instead. 

W - "Are you sure? There are no take backs on this one... not even adamantium bullets to the head."

Peter leant down, crouching in front of Wade, he placed two fingers on the man's chin and helped him lift his head.  
Wade had his mask on, sadly, but Peter could tell he was being looked at.

P - "Hi." - He smiled.

Wade gasped as if he had been hit on the stomach and Peter could faintly feel a rapid heartbeat but he wasn't sure whether it was his or Wade's. The Deadpool mask seemed to have bigger blank eyes than it usually did and the merc was stiller than he had ever been, he might as well have turned to a statue.  
Then a shaky hand in a glove was lifted and Peter was amused by the feeling of his hair being caressed softly and with care, he stared at Wade's covered face with a confused expression, knowing that the furiously beating heart he could feel right now was certainly his own. Then the hand was gone and somehow it left him feeling incomplete.

W - "Your hair was messy because of the mask." - He swallowed.

P - "Uh, thanks." - Peter blushed, sort of disappointed.

Then they headed towards the kitchen, Peter leading the way in silence while his thoughts were loud 'Disappointed. I can't be feeling disappointed, what is wrong with me? Is this a gay Jane Austen novel?'  
He didn't notice Wade was being silent too, something that seemed to be happening more often than ever, the avengers would be filming it.

Peter prepared tea for each of them, not coffee because he certainly wanted to get some sleep. Wade didn't take off his mask, just barely putting it up to drink, was he staring? ... He didn't really seem to take any interest on Spider-man's face, was it too average? Peter lifted a hand to press it against one of his cheekbones, fuck, he knew his looks were ordinary but he was expecting at least the typical harassment that came with the merc and he wasn't getting any.

P - "Listen, you can crash here if you want." - He said determinedly, hoping to have enough time to charm the other somehow.

W - "Nah, my suit is ripped and bloody, I should go change."

P - "You can borrow clothes or something, it's..."

W - "No."

Parker was surprised by the sudden cutting word he had just been stabbed with, he raised his eyebrows in confusion and saw how Wade swallowed and looked away, he was drinking his tea in such a hurry his tongue was probably burning faster than his healing factor worked.

W - "I have work tomorrow, I know it's Sunday but it's probably clear I'm not a church guy." - He joked, returning in a flash to his usual demeanor, walking backwards towards the bedroom window.

P - "This is the 7th floor."

W - "Oh, hahah. Or you know, the Spanish laugh, jajaja." - Wade pointed at the entrance door with a finger and walked towards it faster than usual. - "You probably heard it the same way but those reading it will understand. Bye!"

He opened the door and was out, he had spent about ten minutes or less inside Peter's apartment and run away like a thief hiding in a policeman’s house.  
Peter was left in a jumble by the door, his tea still hot in the mug he was holding. "What... what even...?" he sat down by the table, brushing his hair with his fingers the same way Wade had done not long ago.

At Wade's apartment, the merc showed up after using his belt, almost falling by the sudden arrangement of his body someplace else. He held himself against the wall, resting his forehead against it.

W - "Maybe it's just the body and not the person." - He lied to himself just like Peter had, then laughed out loud, the noise echoing through the room he was in. He took off his mask, scratching at the itching red skin. - "I'm fucked. I'm so fucked. The only way possible would be him suffering a severe case of blindness. Maybe Daredevil trained him."

The mercenary felt like gripping and pulling his hair, too bad he didn't have any, maybe he should get a wig... he actually had some, he could put them on but it wouldn't really be the same. Wade sighed, he was done with falling for people, he had his fair share of terrible love experiences: a prostitute, death, a bitch that took half his soul, honestly Orska might have been the best he ever achieved and she was a bald alien with the consistency of a jell-o that would consider somebody knocking on her door a marriage proposal.

He would've shot himself right then, knowing his head would pull itself back together after a few seconds of peace, but he was on a no killing policy and was pretty sure Peter would say it applied to himself too. Stupid Peter.


	7. Sneezing spider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh myy I should be going right about now, no time to check this twice for mistakes ミ☉﹏☉ミ  
> I'll be back by Sunday night so no replies on comments until then.
> 
> This chapter is strangely similar to a oneshot fic I have already posted for another otp but y'all haven't read that so we'll ignore that.
> 
> Thanks for sending me so much love, I'll try to send it all back with a good chapter.

Deadpool woke up to the sound of his cell phone ringing and even though it was never a bad time to listen to Gloria Gaynor as a ringtone... 7 am was definitely not one of the favorite options within timing, particularly after going to bed so late last night.

W - "This better be the best job offer I've ever received." - He picked up. - "Hello?"

[ W - Wilson; N - Natasha ]

N - "Deadpool. Morning."

W - "Black Widow?" - He stared at the cell phone screen, the number was scripted, definitely Black Widow. 

N - "Your buddy called in sick today and he sounded terrible, we have no idea where he lives."

W - "..." - It was too early for this shit. - "What?"

N - "Spider-man" - She repeated slowly. - "We needed him this morning and he said he was sick. The avengers here don't know where he lives. Do you?"

W - "Is he like... dying?" - He groaned.

N - "No." – She replied unimpressed, always so enthusiastic.

W - "He can wait, then, until ... ten in the morning at least. If he's dying before then call me."

N - "Get your ass where he is and make sure he's fine or I'll take your ass there on my own after chopping it off your body." – Oh, there it was. That was indeed enthusiastic.

Funny, he didn't remember being close enough to Black Widow to get this level of threats, guess being friends with Peter comes with some unnecessary bonus of extra companions.

W - "Fine! Fine. I wouldn't have been able to fall asleep again either way... hold on, what do you mean you don't know where he lives? Aren't you a super secret spy? Can’t you find it out in two minutes?"

N - "Took less than two minutes to call you." - She hanged up.

Man, he liked this chick. Similar working ethic and likes to chop people; she also seemed to care for Peter in her own… peculiar way.  
\---

[ W - Wilson ; P - Peter ]

W - "Petey? You there, baby boy?" - He knocked at the door.

Wilson felt uncomfortable, he knew he couldn't exactly come in his costume to Peter's apartment; the neighbors were already staring at him without it. Sure, he maybe looked worse without the mask but he had verified that every bit of skin was covered: he wore a hoodie, a cap, sunglasses and made sure to place his hands in his pockets so they weren't visible. Anybody else would've thought he was a celebrity hiding from the paparazzi instead of a terribly scarred man hiding from people's eyes.

W - "Seriously, if you don't open the door I'm gonna be terribly mad and worried. I'll kill your neighbors until they die; yes, you, the lady staring, you'll be the first one." – She pointed at the old woman. The lady opened her wrinkly eyes in surprise and fear but didn't move nor stopped staring. Typical.

Then he listened to the sound of Peter making a vile attempt at opening the door.

P - "Heno." - He peeked through the door as it was opened.

W - "Excuse me?"

P - "Non't be mean." - He signaled for the other to come in, sniffing and searching for a tissue.

Wade chuckled at Peter's terrible attempt at talking as he got inside.

W - "Man, if I hadn't seen your face yesterday I'd think you're a zombie."

Peter's face was completely white except for his ears, nose, lips and around his eyes. His lips were redder than anything Deadpool had seen before, and Deadpool had seen a lot of red things considering he stabbed people for a living. They were actually a very pretty shade of red, maybe he could change his suit color into that shade, go to a tailor 'Yes, red like the color of lips on a man with flu… The very kissable lips of a man with flu.'

He realized he was staring at Peter’s mouth too intensely when the other man licked his dry lips in a quick movement that the mercenary repeated mentally in slow motion. Wade would need a bucket of cold water to survive this, scratch that: he’d have to pull a Jack Dawson and throw his body in freezing water to hypothermia his way out of this.

W - "So, Black Widow gave me a call, she said you were feeling bad. I came here to check on you." – He summarized.

Peter walked towards his couch, picking up a rumpled blanket that was laying on it to press it against his shoulders. Wade noticed how he didn't lift his feet from the floor as he walked, looking like a tired little kid, he also noticed his Captain America slippers, the merc had them too.

P - "It's so eadly, I'm soddy."

W - "It's fine. You shouldn't have gone outside for so long yesterday night though, told ya."

Peter pouted, sitting at the couch and patting the space next to him. Did he always look so cute? Or was it because of the Rudolph the reindeer nose? Man, he wanted the Spider-man mask back right now, or at least his own, he needed fabric between them.  
Deadpool sat next to Peter and the other fell to his side, resting his head on Wade's shoulder like he had done after the Doombot attack.

W - "Petey, the flu makes you all needy."- He half joked, patting the superhero’s shoulder awkwardly in an effort to comfort him.

P - "Mhh."

It felt like a purr on his shoulder, he would've rather received a snotty 'shut up'. He looked to his side to see Peter with his eyes closed, he looked at ease, happy to be absorbing all of Wade's body heat. His eyelash game was strong, Wade could never achieve that with make up.

W - "Petey?"

P - "Mhh?" – He didn't bother opening his eyes.

W - "I should leave, I'm gonna get the flu too."

Peter chuckled and ignored his excuses, knowing Wade's healing factor would kick in if that were the case.  
Wade Wilson had no time for this chick flick moments, he couldn't have a weak Peter sleeping on his shoulder... though weak Peter could probably still lift him up with one arm if he wanted to. Thing is chick flick moments were too much for Wade, he always watched telenovelas and cheap love stories but he wasn't mentally prepared to live them, he would never be ready.

He did feel sleepy but he was too nervous to fall asleep, what if he moved too much to the left and Peter fell? What if he woke up and they were even more tangled? WHAT IF he woke up with a boner? Uh? What then?  
After over thinking for a while he went back to looking at Peter's face. He hadn't been prepared to see him without a mask, he knew this yesterday and that's why he hadn't been able to look at him in the eyes. If Spider-man had a mask then he was a hero, not a person, just an entity of some sort; and sure he had a nice butt but he wouldn't be able to fall in love with him, yet now he was sleeping right there, his coffee brown hair ruffled, his eyes closed and his expression relaxed and he looked so... human.

Deadpool stared at his hands, they were bumpy and marbled with red, white and yellow colors, disgustingly humid and sticky on some areas. He didn't look human, he looked like a monster, this wasn't the beauty and the beast, neither Peter would fall for him nor would the mercenary turn normal if he did get a kiss, this curse was one he'd have to live with forever. He should go, he didn't want to torture himself with this.

He attempted to move to the left slowly, planning to let Peter's upper body land slowly onto the place he was sitting on, he took a big breath. As soon as he made an attempt to move Peter's head landed more onto his shoulder, burying itself there, hot breath and red lips caressing his scarred neck; Wade let out all of the breath he had taken at once, closing his eyes.

W - "Why? Have some mercy here, would you?" - He whispered.

As if somebody had heard his begging and wanted to make fun of him, Peter nuzzled against his neck like a cat. How asleep and ill must he be to not feel the moist and scarred skin and wake up? Wade looked down at him, he didn't even have the decency to look disgusted, he was smiling as if Wade smelt like sunshine and flowers. Finally he sighed, resting his cheek on his hood and his hood on Peter's head, that sort of intruded into his hoodie to nuzzle his neck.

W - "You're gonna be the death of me Petey. And I am hard to kill."

He fell asleep to the constant and soothing breathing movement Peter created underneath his cheek, thinking about how nice it’d be to have this each time he took a nap.


	8. Canadian pancakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ Hello! I'm back home.
> 
> This chapter you'll have a brief look into why I included the Panty kink tag in the description.
> 
> Hope this is in character and that you guys enjoy it. Thank you for the love and kisses to you all (´ε｀ )♡

Peter woke up to the smell of syrup. He stretched his arms over his head feeling better, yeah... MUCH better, a couple of hours ago he had cuddled with Deadpool pretending to be asleep. He knew this was the only way to find out whether the merc accepted his affection or if it was unwanted, after feeling Wade tensing his body next to him and trying to run away when he decided to sleep on his shoulder he was excited to find out going a bit further made the merc relax more than ever, he made sure to never grip the man or make him too uncomfortable, always giving him an outing... one he hadn't taken. Truth is Deadpool would rather cuddle with him than wake him up. Not a bad outcome. Man, he must have had a terrible flu if he had been brave enough to try that out without dying of a heart stroke in the middle; thanks to his faster than average healing, he could now actually breathe through his nose. 

P - "Wade?" – He tried.

W - "Yo, Petey!"

Wade appeared in front of him, he had taken off his hoodie, hat and sunglasses, leaving him in a shirt with uncovered arms. He was also wearing an old apron Peter apparently had somewhere in his apartment... he remembered aunt May giving it to him but couldn't remember ever wearing it or where he had put it. The apron was so fucking tiny on Wade it was a sad excuse at a functioning impediment for getting food stains, Peter was pretty sure it didn't even manage to go all around Wade's waist to be tied.

W - "I'm making pancakes. True Canadian pancakes with syrup, hope you like 'em. You feeling better?"

Peter stayed silent for a while, narrowing his eyes like a fox. Then he let out a horrible (faked) cough.  
He was going to hell for this, seriously, it didn't even matter he had saved the lives of tons of people, this was certainly going to come back at him to bite him in the ass... but maybe like this he could have another bite mark done by Wade next to it, fuck, he needed to stay away from telepaths for a while.

P - "Not really." - He pouted. - "But pancakes can certainly improve the situation."

Not long after Wade came back with a fuckton of pancakes, seriously, it wasn't even defined by numbers, you had to use fuckton to describe it. Peter had no idea if Wade had multiplied the ingredients like the next messiah or some shit to make all this.

W - "I made a lot so that the situation improves a lot." - He explained, when in reality Wade tended to have compulsive behaviors when getting nervous, cooking a lot was an example.

Peter was handed a tray with perfectly circular pancakes and syrup to the side. Wade sat next to him on the couch with a similar tray.  
They were incredible, crispy on the outside and soft as a marshmallow on the inside, they were still warm and the syrup was absorbed easily. An incredible cook for someone that always ate takeout, Peter on the other hand was capable of burning rice.

P - "Mhh." - He smiled. - "Wait, you're Canadian?”

W - "Yep. Wolverine too, you know." – He commented, lifting his hand to his face as if to get rid of a mask he was not wearing.

P - "You don't strike me as a Canadian."

W - "You want me to wear the flag on my suit? The guardian has the copyright already, it'd be tough."

Peter chuckled, hitting Wade's arm softly as he did so with the back of his hand. Deadpool seemed to back away at the movement and Peter noticed it, confused until he saw the arm was bare and the area he had smacked looked particularly red and almost scaly.

P - "... Does... does it hurt?" – He mentioned, not taking his eyes off the crimson spot.

Wade closed his mouth at that, looking away. Stupid comment to make.

P - "I'm sorry! You don't have to tell me!" - And then whispered - "I won't punch you again."

The other man smiled at that.

W - "Spider-man not punching Deadpool? Put that on the Daily Bugle."

Peter was dumbstruck to find out Wade had apparently investigated enough about him to know where he worked. What else did he know?

W - "It's ok though. It hurts most of the times, just... skip the...” - He swallowed. - "Skip the swollen pinkish areas, I'll live."- He didn't like talking about it, he joked about his condition but it was obvious he didn't fancy mentioning it.

Peter stared at Wade, he didn't feel pity, he felt angry mostly. Why did this man have to suffer through so much? - "Should I get some ice for it?"

Wade smiled. - "Hey, I thought I was the one that had to take care of you and not the other way around." – He didn't mention how nothing was able to stop the itching but a bullet to the head. He knew, he had tried everything else.

Peter got up hurriedly, almost falling face to the floor, and went to the kitchen to get some ice. He didn't give time enough for Wade to push him away and pressed the cold ice covered in a cloth over the red skin on his friend.

P - "I... I don't know if this helps but... I want to... to..." - He stared at Wade, the man was silent and staring back. - "help."

His friend grinned, placing his hand over his for a moment before taking it away, afraid the touch would turn awkward. Peter didn't find it awkward, he wanted the hand back. 

W - "It helps." – He lied.

\---

Deadpool left after tucking him up on the bed like a child, he even took some instant soup out of his belt pouches for him to prepare later but Peter would not get even near to those, how long had they been there? Who carried soup everywhere? Wade, that's who.

Peter sent a single lined message to Natasha.

\- "thanks"

\- "u owe me"

\---

Peter had no idea what he was doing, he had walked in automatically because he was curious and now he had no idea how to walk away without being noticed. Maybe he could say he was looking for his nonexistent wife or say he had walked in thinking it was another store, to excuse his distraction; truth is his hands were sweaty, his neck was blushed, his tongue wouldn't move and his feet were stuck on the spot he was standing.  
No woman in the store made eye contact with him, probably shy of the pieces of clothes Peter could see them buying, why was this so embarrassing for everybody?. An employee got closer to him though, she had probably seen this happen before and wasn't surprised.

[ E - Employee; P - Peter ]

E - "Do you need anything, sir?" – She asked politely, a big smile on her face. She looked friendly.

Just in case you were wondering what was going on: Peter had walked into a lingerie store. It wasn't even a sex shop; it was a plain lingerie shop for women where if you got in without female company you felt cast out. He had been wondering about this for a while since he knew Wade wore women's clothes often but he hadn't thought about the fact that there are other humans in the world and he wouldn't be able to pick a piece of clothing and run away without being seen or asked any question... well, maybe he could if he run very fast, it's never too late to become a criminal, it seemed like a better way out right now. He could've bought something at the supermarket where it was subtler but instead he had seen a nice piece of underwear hanging on the window display of the store and walked in to see the prize... as if this was a book store, or something.

E - "Sir?"

Oh boy, he had to say something now, he couldn't risk being creepy.

P - "Yes! I'd like to know how much is that!" - He pointed at the over decorated panties on display. 

The girl raised an eyebrow at him, yet walked towards the window display and brought the undies for him to check their texture and the price tag.

E - "They come in black, white, pink and red. Which is your girlfriend's favorite color?"

Peter touched the fabric, it felt much softer than any clothes he had. - "What?"

E - "I asked which your girlfriend’s favorite color is."

P - "Oh, no, I don't have a girlfriend."

Shit. SHIT.

P - "I can explain! I... I can?" - He pressed a hand to his face, stretching his other hand to give the undergarment to her. He still couldn't put a finger on why this was so hard for him but still, he was completely nervous. - "I'm so sorry, this was a mistake. I don't do this, I ..."

The girl simply gripped the piece of clothing and looked at him. Then she smiled softly and got closer to him, whispering carefully.

E - "I don't want to make you feel uneasy, but are these for you by any chance?"

P - "Oh, man." - He pressed both his hands against his face. He just had to get the only employee who wouldn't think he was a creep but actually sense what was going on, he’d rather she thought wrong.

E - "It's ok! This has happened before, there's no reason to be shy." - She continued to whisper in an effort to soothe him; Peter only wanted to dig a hole big enough to fit inside it. - "I think I may have some that'd be less uncomfortable though. Do you like red?"

P - "Yes, I think." - He whispered back. He was moving out of the city after this, there was no way he was staying here knowing he could cross paths with anybody that was on the store right now.

The girl indicated him to follow her to an empty space and handed him the panties she selected. He felt less embarrassed in this secluded place and was able to see the underwear a bit more at ease: they were a dark crimson red similar to Deadpool's suit and had a small pattern laced on it that looked like a complicated and compressed spider web, no skin would be visible through it because it had some silk layer underneath that felt smooth to the touch, it had no cute bows on it but it did have some ruffles on the butt.

E - "And?" – She quirked a brow.

P - "I'll take it." - Fuck it, why not?

The girl smiled, placing the purchase in the most subtle bag she could find. 

E - "You know, if you feel too embarrassed we can pretend to be friends on the way out... you know, if you want it to look as if you were just visiting." - She shrugged.

Peter seemed to be lucky enough to run into the most caring girl she could've found. He must've had the god of lingerie by his side.


	9. Inconvenient timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! if you are expecting sex I'll disappoint, not in this chapter guys. I mean I'm not even sure I'm good at sex, writing it, I mean. Of course （￣～￣;）
> 
> You get to imagine Peter in panties though. 
> 
> As always, you guys are still there sharing your love and thank you so much for that <3 Hope you enjoy it.

P - "Oh, god, what am I doing?" 

Peter was already inside his apartment, he had his bedroom door and window curtains closed. The neighbor had some loud jazz music playing that could be heard everywhere on the floor, which made the situation more ridiculous for it felt like background music.  
Peter refused to look in the mirror, he wasn't even wearing them and yet he couldn't even turn to look at himself. 

P - "Why am I torturing myself so much? I could've bought some popcorn and a movie instead. I could use a new pair of socks too."

He stared at the small piece of fabric, in all honesty he had never really stopped to think about what had pushed him to do this: was it curiosity? For some reason Wade must love these things. He should've started with something easier like lipstick. Started? Was he going to continue to do this? The panties were a starter? Oh, hell no. He could always give them to the mercenary... though they wouldn't fit him... they'd look too... tight... Not the moment to think about Wade's crotch!  
Peter held the undies at a distance, as if they offended him. He could do this, he was no macho protective of his masculinity, he wore a spandex suit ten times tighter than the panties; he thought Wade would look amazing on them, maybe he should be less mean to his own person and consider they'd look good on himself too. Yes. He could do this. He saved people from buildings on fire, he could wear panties. Yes! He could do this. YES, HE COULD. WHY WAS THIS SO HARD? IT'S JUST CLOTHES FOR FUCK'S SAKE.  
His hands started trembling, maybe if he looked away and put them on fast as if they were briefs... The ceiling looked nice, yes, oh... they felt cold on his ankles... a bit. More. Some ruffles touched the back of his knees, they tickled. Finally the elastic rested on his skin.   
It didn't feel bad at all, it actually felt really nice, it was fresh and soft... like when you go to sleep naked and cover with the blankets. They weren't tight on the waist like his other clothes and everything seemed to be in place and comfortable... considering it was meant for women usage.  
He turned around and looked up at his reflection. Not bad, it actually made his butt and bulge look bigger, yeah... he looked fine. Was this really for chicks? How come they get to have this silky glory and men have the '100% cotton' bullshit? Sometimes men's underwear at the store looked as if they had been hanging there for centuries even if they were brand new. It was probably not meant for daily life usages though since everything would ... fall off, but it seemed acceptable for a lazy day at home. Yeah, he could understand Wade's point.

W - "Petey?"

Ha! You think about him too much and he pops up. WAIT, NO, FUCK.

W - "Petey, I knocked on the door but the fucking jazz music is too loud, you there? Are you still ill?" – There was worry in his voice and it would’ve made Peter feel guilty if he weren’t in the middle of a crisis.

Peter covered his front with a pillow messily.

P - "I'm ok!"

He heard the footsteps getting closer to the bedroom door.

W - "You sure? Can I come in?" - He opened the door a bit, it creaked too loudly.

P - "No! I ... I... I'm still ill, you'll catch it. Go away!"

W - "I can't get ill. You know, besides cancer." 

P - "I... you don't know, maybe the spider thing makes the flu more powerful!" - You could almost feel how his IQ seemed to be lowering, Peter was incapable of creating good lies when he panicked, that's how aunt May would always notice when he fucked up, a smart brain is worth nothing with an idiotic mouth.

Wade was quiet for a while, shifting from one foot to another as he tried to stand still. - "You don't sound sick."

Peter let out a terribly faked cough, it was such a transparent lie that it made Deadpool laugh.

W - "No, seriously, stop joking, that sounded like a dying cat with lung isuu..."

And then Wade's head popped out from the side of the door, probably thinking Peter was joking he sensed he was being let inside.

W - "...es."

There was a moment of silence between them. A very large moment. Peter's body became as red as his panties and he could see that Wade turned his head to the mirror, looking at everything Peter was attempting to cover with a crumpled pillow.  
The Jazz music still played in the background, it was the only thing that could be heard and Peter won't ever be able to listen to jazz again without crying.

P - "I..." - He swallowed. - "I can explain?" - It came out with a cracking noise, like a teenager in the middle of voice changing. 

Wade's eyes seemed to be popping out of his skull and it would be funny if it weren't for the fact HE HAD JUST BEEN CAUGHT WEARING PANTIES.

Peter pressed the pillow closer to himself, he could feel his cheeks burning and couldn't look at his friend in the eyes.

P - "Please... just... let me change and we can talk about this... or not talk about this... ever."

W - "You..."

Wade's voice sounded at least ten times deeper, oh boy. Was he mad?  
He was expressionless as if he were still wearing his mask and hiding behind the door as if he was the one in the panties.

P - "Stop. Looking. Please!" - Peter backed away, he was expecting a hysterical laughter or some mad man talking but the stillness of the situation was getting on his nerves.

Wade pushed the door open at last, though Parker would've rather he closed it and walked away. The man was in some baggy clothes, a hoodie and even the suit's gloves were visible underneath so he was probably wearing the Deadpool suit too.  
Finally his face showed some expression, he looked confused and offended. Was this some 'bitch stole my look' thing? Spider-man's suit already looked pretty similar to Deadpool's, maybe he didn't want his... whatever this style was, copied too. Peter could only walk backwards in embarrassment, hoping the other man was short sighted or something, maybe if he backed away with all his strength he could get inside the wall and hide within the concrete. Maybe. Kitty Pryde's powers seemed tempting to have right now.

W - "You..." - Wade walked closer, slowly.

P - "I what? Seriously, I never knew you had a speech impediment." - Babbling, babbling he could do, babbling was all he did. - "Sorry, that was rude. You don't have one though, right?"

Wade stopped walking when he was about a feet away from Peter.

P - "Speech impediment, I mean." - He whispered and swallowed. Biting his lips in an attempt to shut up.

W - "You touch my face while I'm sleeping."

P - "Sorry about that." - He cringed.

W - "You sleep on my shoulder and wear panties."

Peter had no idea where Wade was going with this. - "Technically... well, yes." 

W - "You smile at me." – His voice broke. It was subtle and almost there but they both noticed it.

Peter looked at Wade's eyes, he seemed lost, completely lost. As if the fact he was smiled at was more impressive than the Spider-man wearing women's underwear in front of him.

W - "You talk to me, eat the food I prepare with my bare hands, you... you don't feel disgusted by me." – He stared at his own hands as if he could see through his gloves. See the red patches of skin peeling off.

Parker had no idea why Wade was having a breakdown in front of him, was this the thing that usually happened if you wore panties in front of Wade? He went into an existential crisis?

W - "Why do you do all this? What do you want from me?!"

Peter checked to see if the man in front of him carried no guns or swords before relaxing, Wade had a small trembling going on all over his body, like a scared animal, and he stared at Peter like a hurt puppy... an almost dead level of hurt puppy. What was even going on? Here you had two assholes standing in front of each other, one wearing nothing but red panties, the other wearing a tight suit underneath his clothes, both looked offended at something though it was unclear at what and the damn stupid ass jazz music didn't stop playing in the background. Peter won’t ever again greet that neighbor, asshole. 

So heck with it, Peter went on his tiptoes like a cliché movie and kissed Wade on the corner of his lips. When he backed away he didn't look up, he was honestly expecting a slap or a continuation of the existential crisis speech but he could only see Wade's body shaking even more, as if he were about to take off like a rocket.  
Then he felt the man's labored breath and his chapped lips against his cheek, they were hovering there shyly, still not quite pressed against his skin as they should, so Peter closed his eyes and stepped forward, getting closer to Wade and allowing the kiss on the cheek to be carried out decently.

W - "Am I hallucinating?" - The man almost sobbed next to Peter's ears, knowing if he had it wouldn’t have been the first time: his hallucinations tended to be clear as day and as real as you can get and the ones about Peter were his favorite ones but his personality always felt off, this time it wasn’t.

P - "No... No you aren't." - He smiled and gripped one of Wade's hands. - "Am I?"

Wade rested his chin against Peter's head. - "Petey?"

P - "Mh?"

W - "What did you say to the shop assistant when you bought the panties?"

Way to destroy the romantic atmosphere.

P - "Shut up!" - Peter pushed Wade away, throwing a pillow at him and blushing. - "She found out!"

W - "Did you... just throw at me the pillow that was on your crotch seconds ago?" - He grinned mischievously.

Deadpool was pushed away from the room and the door was locked.

P - "I'm changing! This time, if you would, don’t come in if I don’t say so."

W - "Can I keep the pillow?"

\---

When Peter left his room he was wearing some comfortable pants with an old shirt, bare feet. Deadpool was still there, on his couch, he had a stupid smile on that made you want to punch him or jump on him to kiss his face. Or both. 

W - "So, when did you realize I was the man of your life?" - He patted the space next to him on the couch.

P - "Oh god. Can I get a refund and exchange you for another? I'm already regretting this." - He sat next to him, hiding his face with both hands and sighing.

He got no response so he was worried he had offended Wade, but when he turned around the man was comically pouting. Wade was probably just excited because he had never had a decent person kiss him.

P - "I don't know when it happened. I do know though when I noticed it happening... remember when you thought I was allergic to juice?"

W - "Yes."

P - "..."

W - "Oh! OH! SO THAT'S WHAT IT WAS! It could've been juice allergy, you know."

P - "Wade your detective skills disgust me." 

W - "I'm sorry, I don't tend to assume people love my ass, it's not really the best one in the neighborhood." - Wade babbled.

P - "Nah, it's a good butt." – He smiled. It was true.

Wade would've been lifting his brows if he had some. He looked like a child who just received his favorite toy, Peter wished he had kissed him sooner.

Then the merc started fake-stretching his arms and placed one around Peter's shoulder. It got a snort out of the young hero, who then rested his head on the other's shoulders.

W - "First time I don't get a slap after doing that."

Peter was sure it was true. He was also sure Wade probably overdid that trick quite often. - "Don't push your luck. I'm feeling nice today."


	10. Uncle Logan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends (o^－^o)  
> It's been a while, almost a week! ggghh, sorry about that. Thanks for all the nice comments I've received, you're all too much, so sweet to me.  
> This chapter is more of a filler, sorry to say, but it was needed in order to write the following one. There will be blood on the next one ヽ(●ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ●)ﾉﾟ

Thing is, they never really labeled their relationship, they had no clue what they were: "friends that kissed" would be their best description. The issue here was: people with superpowers.

As soon as Peter walked in the Avengers Towers Logan smelled the air and he KNEW, oh, Peter knew that he knew, his eyes had gone wide and this huge ass grin got plastered all over his face and maybe Spider-man shouldn't have come here after a mission for some free snacks, maybe he should've just swallowed his own arm if he felt hungry.

[ L - Logan ; P - Peter ; J - Jessica ]

P - "Shut up." - He pointed a finger at the man.

L - "Oh, I wasn't going to say anything... until you told me to shut up." – He grinned. – “So, Spider-man… have you always liked…”

Spider Woman walked in the room, she was also looking for some snacks apparently. Peter was grateful, thinking the other man wouldn't continue to bother him.

L - "Hot dogs?"

Oh, oh Logan was being a little bitch, hot dogs? Really? Jessica didn't even flinch, after all she probably didn't expect 'have you always liked hot dogs?' could mean something other than what it literally meant. She simply sat nearby and ate a premade sandwich.  
How could he reply to that question exactly? He wanted to reply 'I don't want to talk about this with you' but it would be suspicious for an outsider, yet he couldn't really reply 'I have always liked hot dogs? Haven’t you seen me eating one on rooftops at midnight?' because he KNEW Logan would fucking lose it. 

P - "It's not exactly something I have thought about before." – He said carefully after thinking for a while.

L - "Oh. Well, maybe you're fond of a particular taste. Like Mexican hot dog."

P - "I'd like to point out it should be Canadian."

L - "Oh, so you know how it tastes like?" - He grinned. Peter wanted to kill him but he knew that was a victory that didn't last long with men like Logan and Wade. Men that didn't stay dead.

J - "A Canadian hot dog that tastes like a Mexican one? Not exactly, what kind of moving food trucks do you guys buy from? All hot dogs taste the same to me."

Logan snickered.

P - "Please don't talk about hot dogs right now." – He signaled with his hand for her to stop, worried at what else she might say that could be interpreted as something else in this weird conversation.

J - "Jeez, why is everyone in this place so freaking dramatic about everything?" - She frowned, chewing angrily at her food as if it was the one to blame for that.

Finally, Spider Woman finished her sandwich and walked away, lazily waving a hand as goodbye without turning around as she left.

P - "Oh my god." 

Logan walked closer to Peter, patting his back quite softly for such a brute of a man.

L - "I gotta say Bob, you've got terrible taste." - He shared a smile that was an evident display of pity.

P - "I know." - He pressed a hand to his own forehead. - "I know."

L - "Look boy, I'd normally want nothing to do with this and I wouldn't exactly call myself a friend of any of you."

P - "Woah, thanks." - Rude.

L - "But if you need any help you can call me. I think you two need each other... or at least he needs you." – He spoke his last words softly but certain.

Peter smiled at that, the fact the bitter man was soft when it came to Deadpool, he was like a grumpy and hairy uncle. Then he squinted his eyes and asked:

P - "Listen, what exactly is it that you smelt on me? Can you tell exactly how far we've..."

Logan pressed his hands to his ears like a little kid. - "Don't keep going. I don't need to know, that's why I stopped sniffing. You smell like you've been laying on each other for over an hour, I don't want to know what you were doing meanwhile."

P - "No, wait! We didn't...!"

L - "Ah." - He interrupted. - "Not my business, kiddo." - And then he started walking towards the exit door, grabbing a new beer on his way out. - "I already have enough nightmares."

He now had the unnecessary and never requested permission from Logan to date Deadpool. 

\---

He was getting inside his apartment after a long day at work when he saw them: a pile of new sets of panties on his kitchen table. Deadpool was standing next to them, jumping on his tiptoes and wearing what had become lately his trademark hoodie.

[ P - Peter ; W - Wilson ] 

P - "First of all, and really, there are a lot of things I should talk about here that are wrong, but first of all: how did you get in?"

W - "Thru the windoooow! thru the wall! thru the sweat drop down my..."

Peter stared at him intensely, as if he’d stuff whatever word Wade spoke next back into his throat… manually and in an unloving way.

W - "Alright, your door lock is lame. I picked it. I mean, not pick as 'I chose it' because I'd choose a better one but as I picked your door lock."

P - "Yes, I understood. What is all this?" 

Peter walked towards the piles of underwear, noticing there were actually other items such as socks, scarves and gloves. And non-sexy ones too, there were some 'hot clothes I bought ya' and some 'these were given to you by your grandmother so you can survive winter' kind of items.

Wade scratched his own cheek nervously. - "Sorry, couldn't pick just one. BUUUT, look at this one."

And he pointed at a huge scarf with what could be Deadpool's logo on it ...or maybe a drawing of a drunk raccoon painted by the very drunk raccoon itself, not sure which one.

W - "I made this one." - He pointed at himself proudly.

Oh. Oh, this was bad, Wade was being cute. He should not be cute, this was not part of the plan, he should've just brought the hot panties, that's what was expected of him.

P - "Wow, thanks Wade." – He picked the scarf up, moving it away from his face to appreciate its full glory. It wasn't that bad… and really, Wade’s expression at the corner of his eye convinced him this was going to be the best item of clothing he had: his smile was ridiculously sweet.

And then his starkphone started ringing. The Spider-man theme song played, which meant it was a member of the Avengers calling, man he hated business calls.

P - "Hello?"

[ T - Tony; P - Peter; W - Wilson ]

T - "Kid, are you available? We have the Green Goblin flying around, Steve can help but he's less the goblin type and more the nazi thing." – He babbled, Peter was worried the man wasn't stopping for his reply.

Deadpool looked at him expectantly, it felt like having a kid.

P - "Fine. I'll bring back up, send me the location. Bye!"

T - "Back up?"

He hang up before answering any question. This could either be a very horrible idea or a mildly bad one.

P - "Do you have your suit underneath that?" - He wondered out loud.

W - "Would you like me to? Or were you hoping I was naked?"

Yeah, very horrible idea it was.


	11. The Goblin attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ### //*Warnings for some brief descriptions of gore!!*//
> 
>   
>  If you feel like skipping this one because you dislike aggression or gore is something you can't stand, I'm happy to tell that this chapter is _perfectly skippable_. Some important things happen but good old friend Tony Stark will summarize the happenings in the next chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for all the love you're sending, I'm sending some back (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡  
> Boy I wasn't expecting so much attention on this fic, I'm a tiny human that usually gets 3 reviews.
> 
> Have a good read!

You know, the thing about his way of transportation meant it was difficult to carry something that didn't fit in a backpack. Deadpool certainly wouldn't fit in a backpack, and when he said it out loud, Wade was offended "are you calling me fat?”

The manic laughter was audible from a block away, along with some explosions and screaming. Peter let go of Wade's waist when they both had their feet on the ground, the merc mentioned something about a good taxi service and they walked towards the crowd.

W - "I love how people run towards these situations instead of away from them and then call me the crazy one." – He mentioned as he pushed people away.

P - "I know, can you take them away from here? I'll go talk with the goblin."

Wade looked startled at his way of thinking. - "Talk with him? You think he's gonna invite you over for tea?"

Spider-man dismissed the question and started running for momentum, attaching a web to a building in order to gain some height.

[ P - Peter ; G - Goblin ]

P - "Excuse me sir, I'll have to ask you to leave." – He said politely, though mostly teasing.

The Goblin turned and gifted him with his full attention. - "Spider-man! I was wondering which one they would send. Terrible choice, really."

P - "I agree, they should've sent Thor and used me as the ultimate powerful backup if he failed."

The goblin laughed, god, his laughter was horrible, a shriek to his ears. Then an explosion blasted, not the green goblin's fault, judging by how he lost his balance over the flying hover board. They both looked down to find Wade waving up at them, he had a power switch on his hand.

P - "What are you doing?!" - He shouted, alarmed.

Wade’s mask stared at him as if the answer was an obvious one. - "Shooing the people away!" - He shouted back.

P - "NOT LIKE THAT."

W - "It worked!"

It was in fact true, everybody had run away when they saw Deadpool setting the explosives so seemingly nobody had gotten hurt but spread away immediately, the street wasn't wrecked either so Wade had used something softer than usual. Effective, sure, but still a mad man's way.  
The goblin noticed the hero was distracted and grabbed him by the neck, it hurt, it was a strong grip.

G - "No fair, two against one? I thought you played nice. I'm disappointed."

Peter could only thrash around, gripping at his spider web harder for if he let go the goblin would be the only thing holding him there. 

W - "Yo, christmas elf!"

Peter couldn't look down, he didn't know Wade was pointing a firearm at the goblin.

W - "I'd let go if I were you." - The mercenary's voice lowered a register, his words perfectly clear considering he was more than thirty feet under them and he wasn't shouting.

The goblin laughed - "You think YOU can scare me? I know you, you're that useless..."

He didn't get to finish that line, Wade shot at his hover board with impeccable accuracy, busting up the device. Spider-man managed to balance himself on his spider web, breathing at a fast pace as he saw the goblin failing at stabilizing his flying gear and crashing against the road.  
Wade got closer to the clashing area and pointed his gun at the cloud of smoke, waiting for it to dissipate.

P - "Don't." - He coughed as he spoke, it felt like he had swallowed sand.

He slowly let go of the web and got to the ground closer to Deadpool, gripping at his own neck as if it would help him speak better.

P - "Don't kill him!"

Wade turned to look at him, lowering his gun and nodding obediently. It was then than from the cloud of smoke a grenade flew towards Deadpool.

P - "WADE!" – It was all he managed to say before the explosion.

Peter saw it from the first row seat, he felt everything was going in slow motion: the sound of metal hitting the floor, the flames and loud noise that left his ears numb, Wade covering himself as he could, only to be thrown aside by the blast, his suit burning and covering itself in blood. And the scream, god, the scream. Peter wouldn't be able to ever sleep again without thinking about that shriek.

Spider-man could move after what felt like hours, he couldn't hear anything and his eyes were blurred, maybe because of the amount of light from the explosion or maybe because of the tears. He didn't notice he was screaming.  
He got closer to Wade, his body was trembling like an insect that had just been stepped on and half of his face was barely there, his arm on that side missing too, though some nerves had managed to stay attached and were dripping blood like a red fountain. His skin reeking of smoke and burnt meat and what was left of his expression was blank and lost.

P - "It's ok. It's ok, you're ok." - He gripped the face in front of him, trying to ignore the fact his fingers were slipping inside the burnt muscle as if it were butter. - "You'll heal. That's what you do, you heal. You can't die, you can't die because I have to kill you for being an idiot, and you have to kill me back because it's my fault, oh god, it's my fault! I shouldn't have said anything! I'm so sorry Wade, please! I really really like you, Wade I love you, please." - He whispered. - "I love you Wade, please."

And then he heard the laughter, it came from behind him. He let go of the body he was holding with as much tenderness as he could gather, even if his hands were trembling with fury, turning his face and body in a slow crawl that definitely proved he had gotten his abilities from a spider.  
As he got closer to the goblin he was able to see one of his legs had clearly broken from the fall, the other one rested limp next to it.

G - "You're dating Deadpool? Oh, man." - He continued to laugh.

Peter clenched his hands in fists, walking towards the man.

P - "Oh, you find it funny? You do, don't you?" - He stepped on the goblin's twisted leg, the man let out a whimper but it was much softer than the scream Wade had let out, he felt it was not enough to compensate. 

G - "Nobody wants to deal with Deadpool, not the bad guys, not the good guys, not you. He was created for killing, he does nothing else." - He snickered. - "He's useless." 

Peter didn't realize he had moved his leg to step on the man's chest until he pushed down, feeling the movement of the air leaving the lungs under his foot.

[ T - Tony ]

T - "Spider-man! Hey! HEY!" – A distant voice spoke to Peter, he couldn't put together what it was saying.

He was pushed back, Iron man gripped both his hands and put them on his back as if he was a criminal.

T - "What the fuck is going on here?! You weren't picking up your phone so I come here and you're killing the fucking goblin?" – He shook him, as if to try to get some sense into him.

Peter spoke in a plain voice that conveyed no emotions, it creeped the fuck out of Tony. - "I wasn't killing him." 

T - "He looks pretty close to dead to me."

It was true, the goblin's body was twisted in impossible shapes, he couldn't even move and Peter had been crushing him under his boot: he had fainted from the pain. Parker didn't reply, he just turned his head and saw Wade's body, it was slowly knitting together but he was still missing an arm and most of his left eyeball, it was a trigger to finally realize what was going on, the way he had been behaving. The next time he spoke it was mostly panic in his voice.

P - "I messed up."

T - "Is that Deadpool?"

P - "..."

T - "YOU BROUGHT DEADPOOL AS BACK UP?!"

The grip Tony had on his hands got stronger, so Peter shook it off and got away once he set himself free, walking next to Wade and leaning close to him.

P - "But he did a wonderful job." 

T - "... I don't want to be rude but I don't lose half of my face when I do a wonderful job."

Spider-man didn't reply, so Tony just sighed.

T - "Listen, I'll make some calls, we'll get Deadpool and the Green Goblin a recovering room but we need to talk."

He received a nod as a response.


	12. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is very close to ending! Two chapters more, I think. The following one includes sex, just warning ahead... I did make you wait quite a lot for it, didn't I?

[ S - Steve ; P - Peter; T - Tony ]

T - "So let me get this clear, you boyfriended a psycho, invited said psycho to participate in an avengers mission, you almost got killed and he saved you but when he was about to kill the other psycho you stopped him. Then he exploded and even though in two minutes he would be perfectly fine due to his healing factor you decided to pledge revenge on that person who'd killed your loved one for those said two minutes that took him to regenerate, and then even though you live by the laws of 'no killing' which are the ones that brought you to this situation to begin with: you decide to kill the goblin."

Peter shook his hands in denial. - "No, I wasn't planning on killing him!"

T - "Fine. Correction: You unconsciously decide to kill the goblin. By accident." – His words were mocking but he seemed mostly worried about Peter.

P - "... If you put it like that it kind of sounds..."

S - "Stupid. It sounds stupid. Because that's what it was."

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. They were at the avengers tower, both the Goblin and Deadpool about three floors away from them and being monitored. Nobody else but them was in the room but all the other heroes in the tower were probably next door and holding a glass to their ear to listen.

Tony forced himself to calm down as he walked like a caged lion. - "Ok, here's what I'd do... first of all: attempt to not drink it away. Then, I'd end any relationship with Deadpool, because WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

Peter looked away, offended that apparently everyone was blaming it on Deadpool.

S - "Hold on. Listen, I know you are young. We all do, most of us know you by name and have fought next to you since you were fifteen. You've made some poor decisions before but you need to understand that when a normal person makes a bad decision bad things might happen, when a hero makes a bad decision people die."

P - "I know that. Of course I know that."

T - "Then unmake the bad decision by dumping Deadpool." – He concluded.

That’s it. That’s what made it for him. - "He isn't the bad decision here!" - He pointed at Tony. - "He's been doing nothing but helping for weeks so you better not take the credit he has for that away from him!"

Captain America got closer to him, trying to reach his shoulders in an effort to make him relax. - "Peter."

P - "No. We've taken in guys like him before, Hulk? Bucky? Venom?"

Steve sighed, finally placing his hand on his shoulder.

S - "We're not making him an Avenger with the reputation he has going on right now, we may consider it later…” – Bullshit, Peter thought. He knew Deadpool had been excluded and denied from the avengers repeatedly. – “…and we can't prevent you from being... whatever it is that you two are to each other."

T - "We can prevent it though." - He shrugged.

Steve clenched his teeth. - "But we won't. Tony."

Stark grumbled and crossed his arms.

S - "But we can't just let you walk away from what happened today, we can't because this team has gotten so big we need to keep things in order. As today and for a month you won't be called to participate in missions unless it is of extreme urgency, you also aren't allowed inside the Avengers Tower during that time. We'll see how we go from there once the month has passed."

Tony’s jaw dropped. - "He fucked up and you're giving him a month vacation?"

Steve hit the back of Tony's head, softly, but hard enough to get a complaint and a pout out of him.

S - "You can leave when Deadpool wakes up."

\---

They hadn't even plugged him to any machine, he was just left on a bed to recover. His clothes had been changed though and the new ones felt really soft, Stark quality fabric. When he opened his eyes he found Peter sleeping on a chair next to him still suited up but without his mask and gloves: if he had taken so long to fix up for the boy to fall asleep it meant he must've been very broken and fucking dead for a while.  
He sat up and rested his back against the wall behind him, keeping his butt on the bed; then he looked at himself: one of his arms was utterly red which meant it was a new one, a few fingers still missing and looking like bumps around his palm. His head felt squishy too which meant the skull was rebuilding and one of his eyes was barely working, he could see everything but in shades of green.

When he went back to staring at the boy next to him he noticed his tired expression, his brows were furrowed even in his sleep and his hands were closed too tight, knuckles looking white. He seemed pretty uncomfortable with his arms crossed in front of his chest and his back straight against the chair, it was surprising he didn't fall off from it.  
He wanted to move the hair away from his sleeping face but Wade would have to wait to get his fingers back before waking his... friend. Friend? Kissing friend? What were they? He knew what he wanted them to be, Wade wanted to wake up every morning next to Peter and make him breakfast, he wanted to wear his best dresses when the other man was with him... like Peter's wife. But not really because he also wanted to fight next to him and protect each other's back like a partner against crime and to play videogames with him and make stupid jokes about everything like friends would do. Yet he didn't want to be Peter's wife, nor partner against crime nor friend. ‘Wife wasn't that bad tho’ – He thought. He wanted to be everything for Peter, because lately he felt like Peter was HIS everything and it seemed only fair to return what he was getting. ‘Corny too much?’ – He heard a voice on his head speaking.

He zoned out and by the time he looked back down to himself he was complete, fingers and everything.

W - "Mh!"

The happy sound made Peter startle awake, gripping the chair for dear life.

P - "Wade?!"

W - "Yes?"

The boy jumped off his chair and onto the bed, almost on his lap. It was unexpected and nearly got the two of them straight to the floor.

P - "Wade! Wade you're awake!" - He nuzzled against Wade's neck and gripped at the clothing by his chest, pushing their bodies closer in a forced hug.

W - "I am! I am awake! Do you do this to anybody that just wakes up?" - He entwined his fingers in Peter's hair for a second, somehow uncomfortable. He wasn't used to people getting so cuddly with him. Maybe dogs and an occasional cat, but never people.

P - "Wade, I am so sorry." - He moved to be able to look at Wade in the eyes.

Wade was puzzled at that. - "What? Why?"

P - "It was my fault that you exploded."

W - "Did you throw the grenade at me?" – He spoke slowly, as if explaining something to a child.

Peter moved his head in denial.

W - "Then it wasn't your fault. Now, is there some food here? Regenerating an arm burns a lot of calories." - He attempted to get up but was pushed back on the bed.

P - "Wait. But I told you not to shoot at the Goblin, it's my fault..."

Wade sighed - "Listen. I am ok, all right? The only way somebody could die there and it being ok would be if the dead person was me."

P - "But..."

W - "Is your neck ok?"

Peter looked confused at first, letting go of his guilt talk. When he touched his neck he noticed a faint feeling of pain and remembered the Goblin had gripped it during the fight.

P - "It bothers me a bit."

Wade extended a hand and placed it against Peter's neck, moving his thumb in circles. The gesture and feeling of it was incredibly soft and loving, something you wouldn't expect from the hands of a mercenary.

P - "Wade?" - He whispered.

W - "Yes?" - He whispered too.

They remained in silence for a while, Wade leaving his hand on Peter's neck. Both feeling pretty comfortable for two men on a hospital bed, particularly if one was wearing hospital clothes and the other a tight spandex suit. Parker moved each of his legs by the mercenary's waist, straddling him, then leant down to kiss him.  
It started out soft, with Wade gripping at his neck strongly yet not enough for it to hurt, soon Peter had leant closer and their chests were touching and then Wade opened his mouth for a second and Peter was using that chance to slip his tongue inside the merc's mouth; it got a whimper out of the man, who wasn't expecting Peter to be so forward.  
Yet as soon as he lowered his waist and pressed his front against Wade's pelvis he was pushed away by an alarmed mercenary.

P - "What is going on?!" - He looked up, alarmed. His suit looked messy and wrinkled. 

W - "I can't do this."

Peter looked defeated, his shoulders dropping instantly.

W - "No. I don't mean this!" - He pointed at Peter and then at himself repeatedly. - "I mean the hospital bed. My kink goes as far as dressing as a nurse but I'm not fond of... hospitals."

P - "Oh!"

Then Tony opened the door. Peter was still straddling Wade to the bed, both their lips suspiciously shiny.

T - "Hey, did he wake... oh."- He closed the door and walked away.

T - "You people are the source of my drinking problem, I swear! You make this so hard for me!" - He shouted through the corridors, he appeared to be making fun of his drinking issues quite a lot lately but thankfully it was because he had managed to control them.

Wade and Peter stared at each other, then the mercenary started laughing.

W - "Come on baby boy, let's go to my house."

Spider-man shuddered. - "So long you don't ever call me baby boy again."

W - "Aw, but you can call me daddy!"

Peter groaned, the mental image was scarring. - "Oh god."


	13. Nacho sauce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ###  //* Warnings for sex !! *// 
> 
> If you feel like skipping this one because sex makes you uncomfortable or because your mother is standing right behind you, I'm happy to tell that this chapter is... yet again, _perfectly skippable_. 
> 
> And wouldn't it be wonderful if everything was skippable? It would also be disastrous but allow me to dream for a moment.
> 
> I'm deeply sad to confess there's only one chapter more and it was created to mostly close things up, who knows maybe I'll kill every character. Pfft.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this one, it's a tough one to write. And thanks for all the attention, the kudos, the comments and the bookmarks, I promise I've read every single username and message that popped up.

As soon as they arrived to Wade's apartment Peter made sure to call May and tell her he was ok, he hadn't seen her in a while and didn't want to cause any worry.

[ M - May; P - Peter; W - Wilson ]

M - "Oh, so you're at Wade's right now?"

P - "Yes!" – He sounded worryingly excited about that but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

M - "... I'd like to know this Wade you talk so much about."

P - "Oh boy. I'll ask him but he isn't very fond of meeting new people."

May saddened at that, pity invading her sweet voice. – “But it's as if he knew me already, we've talked many times over the phone."

Wade was in the bathroom, he said his eye needed some help to get fixed faster and then locked himself in there... whatever that meant. Yet when he overheard the conversation Peter was having he opened the door enough to peek.

W - "Is that your hot aunt?"

He groaned. - "Please don't use the word hot to describe my aunt. You haven't even seen her!"

W - "In fact, I have. Remember the first time I went to your apartment and got myself into a crisis because of the pictures in your room and the fact I got a glimpse of your face in one?” – He waited for a nod in order to continue. - “I may have seen May too."

M - "Is that Wade?"

P - "Sadly, yes, it is. He might no longer be if he keeps calling family members hot."

Aunt May giggled. - "Invite him over, would you? I'm making some pie tomorrow."

P - "You are cooking for him? You haven't even met him and you are already planning on poisoning him?"

M - "Peter!"

P - "Fine, I promise nothing though." - He laughed.

As soon as he hung up he walked towards the couch, burying himself in it and the ridiculous amount of cushions Wade had. The room smelled like Wade and it was incredible that he could relate Deadpool to something alike quietness but the scent calmed him.  
He could listen to Wade in the bathroom who apparently had got into the shower because he could hear water running, the mercenary was probably getting rid of all the goo and juices he had covered himself into due to the injuries. He was also humming something. It was clearly a song but Peter couldn't tell which one because the melody echoed in the shower and turned out confusing but it also made Peter relax, Wade's humming was hoarse and it caused the air to vibrate in a pleasant way.

Peter closed his eyes and only opened them back when he noticed the humming had stopped. He peeked over the couch to see Wade retrieving a bottle of beer from the fridge, only dressed with a towel around his waist and still wet. Actually really wet, Wade had made a lame attempt at drying himself up and ended up leaving a trail of water on the floor that indicated the path he had walked.  
Peter's eyes went straight to the towel, he tried to look away but found himself staring again and again. It was terribly tied, as if only blowing air that way would make the cloth fall off. He started breathing louder and it caught Wade's attention, making the man turn around to look at Peter.  
This time, unlike the first time when the mercenary had gone on his 'are you allergic to juice' rant, Wade caught up with the situation and smiled wickedly.

W - "Like what you see?" – He made a little dance for show.

Peter opened his eyes like a child that had been caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Then he blushed furiously and covered his eyes with the palm of his hand.

P - "Shut up. I didn't see anything. That towel looks a lot like one I have, that's all."

W - "Hm?" 

As Wade hummed, Peter noticed the man had gotten closer, he pressed his palm to his eyelashes harder.

W - "It's just an average white towel, it looks like a towel anybody has."

P - "Yes. I saw that." – He hurried to say.

W - "Oh, but I thought you hadn't seen anything."

Peter dropped both his hands to stare at Wade with hatred, the man had a cheeky grin plastered on his face and one of his hands resting on the knot of the towel. As soon as he unmade the knot Peter shouted and threw a spider web directed at Wade's crotch.

P - "Oh my god!" - Peter stood up from the couch, alarmed at his instinctive reaction in such a stressful situation.

W - "What the fuck?!" - Wade stared down at himself, he had a new set of web undies.

P - "I'm so sorry!" - Peter got closer to Wade, he made an attempt at getting rid of the webbing until he realized his hands were technically on Wade's penis. - "OH, OH NO, SORRY." - He shook his hands in the air desperately, not knowing where to put them.

Deadpool started laughing, it was a full belly laugh.

W - "Of course you'd web my crotch."

P - "Nhhh, sorry!" - He pouted, his whole body irradiating shame.

W - "Come here."

Wade stretched his arms, placing his hands by Peter's waist and kissing the neck in front of him after curving his back a bit to reach it. The superhero hummed and closed his eyes, resting his head on Wade's shoulder that wasn't quite dry yet.

P - "Why does everything romantic look so ridiculous with us?"

Wade chuckled. It was true, Spider-man was still on his costume and Wade had his ass bared with his front covered by webbing. 

W - "Would you mind it if I take your costume off? Or will you web my ass this time?"

Peter snorted, rubbing his forehead against the bump of Wade's clavicle. - "Yeah. Yeah, take my suit off."

Slowly, Wade reached out to his back looking for a zipper, when he found one he started pushing it down. Peter's chest started showing, then his tummy, he carefully got his arms off the sleeves.  
Wade surprisingly stopped when the zipper was by his lower back, taking his time to touch Peter's chest, kissing it softly. The mercenary's lips felt rough against the soft skin, they were chapped and scarred and beautiful. That's all Peter could think of, Wade being beautiful. It felt ridiculous and probably Wade would've laughed if he had said it out loud... or maybe he'd have cried, not having heard someone calling him like that in a long time.

When Parker noticed Wade had stopped and was stuck in doubts, he decided to take off the suit by himself. He reached back for the zipper and lowered it completely, then pushed it down his legs until it fell off.  
When he leveled his head with the man in front of him he noticed how Deadpool was staring, as if Peter's body offended him. Like he didn't deserve to have it. So Peter took Wade's hand and lead him to the closest bed, thankfully he had helped moving the furniture so he knew exactly how many steps away it was.  
As soon as Peter pushed the other man towards the bed Wade gripped his hand to stop him.

W - "Wait. Wait, I'm gross." – He almost shouted.

Peter sighed, sitting on the bed next to Deadpool and staring at him. He knew something like this would happen, Wade barely ever took off his mask, let alone his entire suit.

Peter spoke slowly, stopping at every word. - "You aren't gross, Wade."

W - "You'll go limp as soon as you touch me." 

That made him mad, the fact Wade thought so little of him he believed Peter would find his condition a turn off. So he gripped the other by the neck and pushed their faces together into a kiss, his other hand roaming on every bit of skin that got in the way, chest, arms, thighs, waist. He made sure to not keep away from the scarred areas, feeling the bumps and bruises and moving his fingers softly along the shapes they created.  
By the time he let go of Wade's lips they were both panting and hard. 

P - "See?” – He breathed. – “The only turn off is the webbing still stuck to your penis."

Wade smirked, his attitude seemingly changed by what Peter had done. Success.

W - "Mhhh, say penis again. I love to hear you talking dirty."

He groaned - "I'll change that statement. The bantering is a turn off too."

The mercenary laughed and turned around, plastering the superhero against the bed with his body. The webbing was sticky already, melting with the heat and sweat, adhering to Peter's thigh and the sheets on the bed.

W - "This is going to be a bitch to clean off." – He noted.

Peter hummed in agreement, stretching his arms and placing them around Wade's shoulders.  
He was making eye contact when he took the initiative and ground his hard on against Wade's; what felt even better than the contact was the look on Wade's face when he did so and the groan that he let out, raspy and low as a purr it vibrated through both of them.  
Wade placed his hands by Peter's waist and continued the jerky movements, spraying the melted webbing over his partner like nacho sauce.

P - "Nacho sauce?"

W - "Oh, did I think that out loud?"

P - "That's the hottest thing you could think of?"

The mercenary looked up, checking the hero's expression to see if he was offended. He was smiling, his lips swollen and glittery and his cheeks sprinkled with red, he looked beautiful with his hair sticking up in every direction. It was ridiculous.

W - "Consider it an honor, being compared with a nacho by me."

Peter chuckled, using his arms by Wade's shoulder to bring him closer and kiss him. It was a wet kiss that made it feel like the space in their mouths was not enough, crammed and slippery but perfect and warm, they fitted against each other comfortably as if they were pieces of a puzzle connecting.  
Wade resumed the movement of his waist, pushing down hard to cause as much friction as possible; he could hear Peter making small noises of approval, humming and panting, he completed the merc's movements halfway through them in a hurry and it made Wade shiver.

P - "More." 

W - "More?" – He asked, surprised.

Peter nodded fanatically, stroking Wade harshly on the back with his hands but refraining from using his nails.

W - "So bossy."

Wade hummed a song as he lifted his upper body off Peter and stretched in an attempt to reach the bedside table and its drawer, blindly moving his hand as he searched. Finally he retrieved a bottle of lube and some condoms, he threw them on the floor and only kept one, placing it between his lips as he sat up, crouching over the other man as he opened the bottle of lube. It was incredible he had condoms considering the lack of luck at sex he had but the lube was always there for the happy times alone, unflavored and no perfume just in case it made his skin itch even more.

When he looked up he saw Peter, who was evidently nervous. He had gone from half lidded eyes and relaxed body to stick mode, no movement other than the way he worried his lower lip as he stared at the lube Wade was holding. A small 'Oh.' was all the mercenary could think of as he realized it was most certainly the first time Peter had a relationship like this one: with a guy.

W - "It's ok. You bottom next time."

P - "What?" - He stuttered and stared back confused.

W - "I said I'll ride you."

If he had been red before, now it almost looked as if he was still wearing his spider-man mask, eyes wide and utterly blushed. Wade smiled wolfishly when he felt Peter's body responding to his statement, the throb evident when they were sticking so close to each other.

W - "I see you agree with me."

P - "Oh." - He looked aside, quite too prude for his usual self.

W - "Or at least your little buddy there agrees..."

Peter lifted a hand, covering his eyes and massaging the skin next to them, still laying under Wade.

P - "Second hand embarrassment. You're the definition of second hand embarrassment, Wade."

Wade chuckled, placing a generous amount of lube on his hand. Still crouching, he lifted his buttocks in the air and lowered his chest and shoulders, resting his head on Peter's chest. When the other uncovered his eyes to see what was going on he let out a small whimper at the realization that Wade was preparing himself.

W - "Gimme a sec." 

Peter stared at him directly and greedily during the whole process, making a noise that almost sounded like a plead when Wade accidentally felt his prostate and moaned happily. He was lowering his hand to take care of himself when he felt the mercenary slapping it away, lifting a nonexistent eyebrow at him.

P - "This is torture."

W - "Not so patient in bed as you're while on patrol, I see." - He smiled cheekily.

Peter was about to stick his tongue out at him when Wade kissed him, it was an impressively tender kiss for one with so much tongue involved, the movements slow and careful as if the mercenary could convey every feeling with them. And he did. It felt warm, gentle and loving, shockingly sweet for a muscular guy that used to kill for money until so recently, a guy that had been tortured and discarded.  
He was distracted by the kiss when he felt Wade adjusting and penetrating himself with Peter. The hero opened his eyes in surprise and moaned, gripping at the sheets for dear life when he felt the warmth embracing him. It wasn't too tight nor uncomfortable but it was everywhere, it created a wave of electricity, it flowed through his spine and made him shiver.

P - "Fff... Fuck, Wade." - He switched his grip, leaving the sheets and holding the merc's arm.

W - "Yep! That’s what you're doing."

Wade's voice trembled, noticeably affected by the situation he was in. As soon as he felt adjusted he moved himself up and down, his arms trembling as much as his voice when he lifted his body.  
Peter removed his back from the bed and stretched his legs in a position that would probably feel uncomfortable if you had a person sitting on you and you weren't spider-man. He held Wade by the waist strongly and helped him move, easing the shaking.  
It felt so good, so intimate. Wade lowered his head to hide it on Peter's neck and the warm puffs of air he let out danced over his skin, giving him goose bumps. It didn't take long for Peter to find the right spot, the one that made Deadpool practically melt over him, the sudden weight probably would've taken him down if it weren't for the super strength.

P - "There." 

It wasn't even a question but he got a nod as a reply anyway, he couldn't see it but he felt Wade's forehead rubbing all over the skin on his neck like a cat. From that moment on the movements intensified, rougher and more feral, nobody controlling the rhythm anymore.  
Peter didn't notice when had he started kissing Wade's face but by the time he realized what he was doing he had his lips pressed against a cheekbone, tender kisses compared to the grip Wade had on Peter's waist, the hold getting stronger with each kiss. The hero used one of his hands to hang on to the mercenary and moved the other one between their bodies, finally paying attention to Wade's unattended cock. After a brief movement and another kiss by the jaw Peter felt how his partner's body started pounding, clenching around him and dripping their chests with come.  
Peter got out from Wade carefully, still moving his hand slowly through it all. Wade hummed content over him and after relaxing he took Peter's earlobe between his lips and pulled at it playfully, extending a hand to return the favor he worked Peter's hard on off, teasing the tip until it was too much to handle.

P - "Nnnh, Wade!" - He closed his eyes.

W - "Shhh. It's ok, I've got you." - He said as he lowered his head in order to kiss Peter's lips.

\---

Peter had dozed off not long after, his head finally landing on the pillow after lolling around some seconds. Wade laid next to him, the side of his face resting on the other's shoulder, he had entire conversations in his head but they were mostly about how lovely Peter looked when he was sleeping and what had he done in other lives to deserve this, because he certainly hadn't done anything that good in this life. He fell asleep after a while, he hadn't slept so profoundly in years.


	14. Aunt May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it people! this is the final chapter!! <3  
> I'm so sad, I got used to reading you all in the reviews.  
> Remember that [this is my tumblr](http://honoramma.tumblr.com/) and you're more than welcome to message me through it ( •⌄• ू )✧
> 
> Thanks everybody for the attention, the kudos, the comments and the bookmarks! I never expected to get so much from this silly fic, you were all so nice too! criticism was so gentle, not even one single douche.
> 
> I hope I reached your expectations and enjoy the last chapter of this story!

P - "Wake up! We’re going to May's."

Wade groaned and turned around, showing his back to Peter.

P - "Seriously. I'll web your crotch again if you don't get up." – He threatened, throwing a pillow at Deadpool to speed up the process.

The mercenary slowly opened his eyes, blinking lazily and turning back to stare at Peter with a confused look, finally processing what the other had said.

W - "May's? Hopefully that's a place for breakfast, like Denny's."

Peter cringed, knowing what would happen next and preparing for the upcoming panic. - "It's my aunt's, come on."

The mercenary got up instantly, standing far away from his lover. He held a sheet close to his body as if the other hadn’t seen him naked the day before.

W - "I'm not the kind you present to your family, Peter."

The boy rolled his eyes at him, getting closer and grabbing his hand.

P - "Don't be so dramatic. It was specially requested by May, you can't say no to little old May, can you?" - He made a pouty face, his eyes big and shiny. - "Her poor heart won't be able to take it."  
May always said that when it was convenient: ‘You can’t move out Peter, my poor heart won’t be able to take it.’ Was the reason he took so long to get an apartment of his own. Still, she always complained when Peter used it against her, meaning she’d probably be hitting him on the back of his head if she’d heard him right now.

Wade huffed, looking somewhere over Peter's shoulder. - "Don't be so dramatic." - He mocked. - "Fine, just... let me put the suit on."

P - "Hopefully you are talking about a tie and a shirt kind of suit and not your costume." – He crossed his arms in front of his chest, ignoring Wade’s pleading look.

W - "What's wrong with my costume?"

P - "I want you without it."

Wade wiggled his hairless eyebrows.

P - "Not like that, idiot." - He pushed at him. You always had to pick your words when around Deadpool, he seemed to have the ability to turn anything into a sexual innuendo. 

Wade sighed, letting go of Peter's hand and sitting on the bed, staring at the floor. He looked defeated and small, his stunning eyes glistering with worry and sadness.

W - "Pete, I can't do that. I can't show my face to someone I don't know."

Peter leant down, kneeling in front of Wade and staring up at him, smiling tenderly. He placed a hand on his knee, trying to ease away some of the anxiety.

P - "You know aunt May! You've seen her face and you've talked to her a lot." - He sighed, pushing his hair back and looking at Wade through his lashes. - "The truth is..." 

He went silent, not finding the right words. Deadpool was confused and scared, he never liked knowing the truth. He worried his chapped lips to the point of biting some skin off, it would have dried and fallen anyway, his skin tending to peel off.

P - "Look, I really REALLY like you." - He breathed out in a rush, content with the feeling of finally letting those words go.

Wade stared at him blankly. At first Peter waited for him to react but after minutes went by he figured he had broken the man, he looked as if a wire inside him had disconnected. A 'lost signal' message almost popping up in front of his face.

P - "Wade?" - He got closer to look into his eyes. - "Wade I just told you I'm in love with you." - He tapped his shoulder gently to get his attention. - "One blink for 'I love you too, bu', two blinks for 'I don’t do romance', three blinks for 'I'm actually having an aneurysm'."

But Wade didn't blink at all. It was scary. Impressive too but mostly scary.

W - "I... I can't. I can't believe that." - He pressed a hand to his eyes, trying to keep them as dry as possible but not managing to do so greatly. - "Please don't say that to me if you don't mean it. Please don't lie."

Peter pushed the hand away from the mercenary's face. - "I'm not. I love you Wade." – He spoke the words easily, as if he was reading a book out loud. He’d thought it would be tougher to confess his feelings but it wasn't at all, it felt as natural as if he had said those same words a thousand times before. 

W - "Stop."

P - "I think you're funny. Hot. Beautiful. And kind." - He kissed Wade softly on his cheek at each stop. - "And get ready because I'll continue say it out loud until it gets through your thick skull." - Then he kissed the tip of his nose and smiled.

Deadpool pressed his face to Peter's shoulder, his eyes closed. - "I love you too. Since too long." - He whispered. - "I really hate talking about feelings, I liked the sex part better."

Peter chuckled.

\---

It took too long to get to May's house. Mainly because Wade kept turning around and running towards the opposite direction each time he thought about the lady seeing him without his mask on, Peter always chased after him and people on the street had started to give them weird looks that were no longer due to Wade’s skin.

W - "We can tell her I have a condition. Explain to her that it is actually my real face and not a mask."

P - "Yeah? You gonna eat through it?" – He asked, his voice flooded with patience.

W - "... I have actually tried to do so and you'd be surprised at how much gets past the fabric."

Peter groaned, stopping when they were at May's door. He looked to his side and this was the first time he had seen Wade so nervous, he had seen him panicking but never nervous. He was subtly jumping on his feet, looking pale and a bit sweaty.

P - "Come on." - He grabbed Wade's hand, entwining their fingers. When the other man looked at him he smiled, trying to calm him down. It seemed to work a bit. - "She'll like you more than she likes me, you'll see."

Wade smiled, it was a small smile that barely stretched his lips. - "Who knows, I may leave you for her." 

P - "Ahhh, not nervous enough to shut up, are you?" - He punched Deadpool's shoulder softly with his free hand, Wade pouted and rubbed it, pretending it had hurt.

The door opened before they even managed to ring the bell, probably announcing they were there with all the noise they'd made.  
May stood there, a light colored dress on her that showed she’d made an effort to look nice and presentable. Her hand was on the doorknob and her stare was on Wade. She didn't even flinch, didn't look twice to check he was seeing a monster, she just directed her stare a bit downwards and saw their entwined hands. She smiled as if she’d known all along.  
Peter thanked all the gods for aunt May.

M - "Well, Wade." - She looked at Wade in the eyes, her stare sweet and nonjudgmental. - "It is nice to finally meet you."

Wade nodded, he couldn't talk, not with the lump he had on his throat. Peter just gripped his hand tighter.

M - "Come on in, the pie's waiting!" - She walked inside and left the door open for them.

Both the boys stood outside, the mercenary looking stunned and the hero smiling knowingly.

W - "Peter you never told me your aunt was blind." – He’d thought Peter was too, at first. It was a family thing maybe.

P - "Dumbass."

As Peter walked inside, he brought Wade along through their linked hands. There was a warm feeling to the house and a sweet smell of pie and cookies, it felt like an early holiday and it was already better than any Wade had ever had.  
As they sat down to eat he realized that Peter was bringing him to the only family he had, accepting him as if his past didn't define him at all. He might have a chance to have this, to be part of this family; he only had to not fuck it up.

W - "May, I see the sexy voice on the phone has a hot body attached to it too."

May laughed, Peter burying his face in his hands as he complained. This was going to be a long day for Peter, but a good one for Wade.


End file.
